Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hi, guys!

Look...I'm not going to screw around with goofy stories to set up jokes. I'm going to be serious for a minute.

That's it, really. If you live here in the U.S., and you're registered to vote, then damn well go and take part in the process. Even if your candidate doesn't win, you can at least say you participated, and you also get to gripe and complain about the person who did win. (Again, this is assuming that the one you voted for didn't.)

If you don't vote, you give up all rights to bitch about whoever wins or loses. It is that simple.

And so is voting! In fact, I have probably the easiest voting situation in the who freakin' world; I only have to walk across the street. That's it. It wasn't always that easy. Sometimes the voting station was somewhere weird or out of the way, or the lines were really long (by the way, huge thumbs-up to those folks who stood in line for hours and hours this past week during early voting around the country), but I made sure to make the time.

So should you.

And that's it, really, aside from the tweets I pulled for today. And, before I get to those, I want to convince you, if you aren't already there, to join Twitter. Why? Because it is not Facebook. Seriously, that's all you need to know. As an example, please see the following tweet.

Facebook: My little man is the best thing that's ever happened to me!

Twitter: Free baby. DM for details.

— Jordan (@jordangerous) June 1, 2014

That is probably the most simple and honest explanation of the differences between the two.

Oh, and did I mention that you should go vote?

Now let's see some tweets! In no particular order...

This new drama @BBCRadio4 has some very odd noises in it pic.twitter.com/0OraRHj9qw

— Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) October 30, 2016

Me: *Has access to virtually unlimited information online*
Also Me: “Lets mostly look at stuff that makes me mad”

— nom (@nomchompsky) October 31, 2016

Pre-op interview: "Why do you want a tubal ligation?"
Me: "I hate condoms and babies."
Doctor: "I'd like to buy you a drink."

— June O'Hara (@juneohara65) October 7, 2016

[typing] Her eyes were maelstroms beneath a starry sky. She was elusive like... [super long pause] Bigfoot's clitoris.

— Abby Normal (@MrsTomServo) October 31, 2016

At the cinema today I got called a selfish ignorant twat. Whereas I thought I looked quite fetching in my sombrero.

— Rob Thompson (@sirchutney) January 19, 2011

My ankles have love handles.

— Kay (@KaysNH) October 28, 2016

I’m touching myself while I think about whatever team beat your favorite team.

— Lemming Däd (@LemmingDad) November 2, 2016

Love wins. pic.twitter.com/A8oJkdj8uw

— Andrea Nicole (@PinkLipstitch) July 14, 2016

I just saw Mick Jagger collecting various mosses. I WAS TOLD THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN.

— Steve vs Ninjas (@stevevsninjas) November 2, 2016

People always slam elevator music and that's very hurtful to those of us who have spent years learning to play the elevator.

— Tony (@Tmoney68) November 2, 2016

And there you have it! Now quick! Look at this video by Joss Whedon!

Now have a great week! Oh, and one more thing, before I forget...

All the best,
Derek and Bosco