Look...I'm not going to screw around with goofy stories to set up jokes. I'm going to be serious for a minute.
That's it, really. If you live here in the U.S., and you're registered to vote, then damn well go and take part in the process. Even if your candidate doesn't win, you can at least say you participated, and you also get to gripe and complain about the person who did win. (Again, this is assuming that the one you voted for didn't.)
If you don't vote, you give up all rights to bitch about whoever wins or loses. It is that simple.
And so is voting! In fact, I have probably the easiest voting situation in the who freakin' world; I only have to walk across the street. That's it. It wasn't always that easy. Sometimes the voting station was somewhere weird or out of the way, or the lines were really long (by the way, huge thumbs-up to those folks who stood in line for hours and hours this past week during early voting around the country), but I made sure to make the time.
So should you.
Twitter. Why? Because it is not Facebook. Seriously, that's all you need to know. As an example, please see the following tweet.
Facebook: My little man is the best thing that's ever happened to me!— Jordan (@jordangerous) June 1, 2014
Twitter: Free baby. DM for details.
That is probably the most simple and honest explanation of the differences between the two.
Oh, and did I mention that you should go vote?
Me: *Has access to virtually unlimited information online*— nom (@nomchompsky) October 31, 2016
Also Me: “Lets mostly look at stuff that makes me mad”
Pre-op interview: "Why do you want a tubal ligation?"— June O'Hara (@juneohara65) October 7, 2016
Me: "I hate condoms and babies."
Doctor: "I'd like to buy you a drink."
[typing] Her eyes were maelstroms beneath a starry sky. She was elusive like... [super long pause] Bigfoot's clitoris.— Abby Normal (@MrsTomServo) October 31, 2016
At the cinema today I got called a selfish ignorant twat. Whereas I thought I looked quite fetching in my sombrero.— Rob Thompson (@sirchutney) January 19, 2011
My ankles have love handles.— Kay (@KaysNH) October 28, 2016
I’m touching myself while I think about whatever team beat your favorite team.— Lemming Däd (@LemmingDad) November 2, 2016
Love wins. pic.twitter.com/A8oJkdj8uw— Andrea Nicole (@PinkLipstitch) July 14, 2016
I just saw Mick Jagger collecting various mosses. I WAS TOLD THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN.— Steve vs Ninjas (@stevevsninjas) November 2, 2016
People always slam elevator music and that's very hurtful to those of us who have spent years learning to play the elevator.— Tony (@Tmoney68) November 2, 2016
And there you have it! Now quick! Look at this video by Joss Whedon!
Now have a great week! Oh, and one more thing, before I forget...
Derek and Bosco