Remember the 80s? Of course you do, which is why we all generally avoid looking back at it. And this week's movie is a perfect reminder of why that is a good thing.
This week, the guys watched 1989's Robyn Lively epic, Teen Witch.
Robyn is Louise, an unpopular 15-year-old who is has skipped at least one grade, and is continuously moist for the school's football hero, Brad (Dan Gauthier), who looks like a knock-off Tom Cruise. However, Brad is dating Randa (Lisa Fuller) (possibly...it's hard to tell all these girls apart), the popular girl at school.
|Also, Louise is a ginger, so she is obviously evil.|
|It's like she's psychic!|
Anyway, Louise is almost killed by Brad when he "accidentally" runs her bike off the road, and she goes looking for a phone to call someone to come pick her up. Her search leads her to the house of Madame Serena (Zelda Rubenstein), a medium who informs Louise that she is a reincarnated witch, and her powers will come out on her sixteenth birthday.
|Remember how good she was in Poltergeist?|
Well, forget about that now.
|An 80-year-old chain smoking woman trapped in a 12-year-old boy's body.|
When she tries to use the spell, it fails completely...at first. So Louise makes an attempt to help out Polly with her love interest. It results in possibly the first filmed rap battle, between Polly and Rhet. Sure, it's awful, but it is a first.
|Polly' lost when Rhet hoofed her in the hoo-ha.|
Will Louise regain Polly's trust and friendship? Will she finally realize that she can keep Brad? Will Serena convince her that the magic is no substitute for a personality, thereby motivating Louise to give up magic forever and just be herself? Or will it all be thrown out the window in order to show teen girls from the 80s that the only important thing is to be popular, no matter who gets hurt?
Yeah, it's that last one. Still, you should listen in.
Derek is livid about the end of this movie. There is no resolution and nobody appears to have learned anything that helps them improve themselves. He goes on at great length about this. Like, a lot. It's pretty funny.
Larry thinks it's an awful movie, but it's fun to make fun of with friends. Really, that's about all that matters, because if you're looking for philosophy in 80s movies, you've got issues of your own. Still, give it a try!
Jake is not at all sure he agrees with Larry about the whole "making-fun-of-it-is-fun" thing. The only thing that he feels is worth the watch is a twelve second clip where Brad's girlfriend's cousin offers Louise some weed.
So put on your Z. Cavaricci jeans and your "Frankie Says Relax" shirt, and listen to this week's episode!