August 27, 2014

Steel Dawn

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Patrick Swayze, Patrick Swayze's mullet, Patrick Swayze's wife (who looks like Edgar Winter), and Patrick Swayze's almost entirely unused sword, accompanied by what seems to be a down-and-out Hulk Hogan, battle against Not-John Voight and his army boy band rejects in fright wigs in this post-Apocalyptic masterpiece of understatement and nepotism known as Steel Dawn.

Oh, boy, were the guys angry about this movie. Jake, who actually chose this turd-burger, is angry about the lack of actual swordplay in this swordplay-based film. Larry is angry about nearly everything in this movie, but the "sword holster"(?) in particular. Derek is just generally angry, but wants to make it clear that, despite a lack of specifics, it's still an unquenchable rage that makes him want to sit on this movie and dangle loogies over it, and then maybe pants it and drag it around the track at the local middle school..

Steel Dawn is exactly the kind of movie for which you need a podcast like this. We watch is so you don't have to! Listen now, and never, ever watch this film. Ever.


Next Week's Movie: The Man With The Screaming Brain