November 12, 2014

The Wraith (aka "Shut Up, Jake!")

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Just when we thought Steel Dawn was the be-all, end-all of 80's movies, Jake showed up with 1986's The Wraith (or Wraith The, if you read the title card normally) neatly tucked under his arm.

It "starred" Charlie Sheen, Nick Cassavetes, Sherilyn Fenn, Randy Quaid, and one of the guys' favorite character actors, Clint Howard as "Rughead".

"Dinsdale?!"
THRILL! To a guy who may or may not have actually been actual Charlie Sheen (though probably not) wearing an actual costume that actually hides his actual face!

"Dinsdale!!!"
SNORT! As Nick Cassavetes slowly morphs into a haggard Rick Springfield, Sherilyn Fenn turns into Kirstie Alley, and Charlie Sheen, for one brief moment, turns into Ron Weasley!

GLANCE! At your watch as you wonder how much more of this you will have to sit through before you see boobies! (Two-thirds. The answer is two-thirds.)

REVEL! As Rughead suffers from eating one of Burger Boy's "special" burgers!

"DEAR GOD! IT'S LIKE ANGRY BEES IN MY COLON!"
YAWN! As, once the internal rectal storm has passed, Rughead airs out his favorite thong!

"One day I will meet a girl who will fit into this better than I do!"
Also, there's a bunch of cars and ghosts and shiny lights and they-don't-know-what-all because none of the guys were really paying that close attention to whatever the hell was going on. Jake is annoyed by the lack of Charlie Sheen in this Charlie Sheen movie, Derek wanted to punch the stupid ending in its stupid face, and Larry wants to know whether Jon Cryer will be replacing Charlie Sheen in a reboot, if that ever happens. (It should.)

There's also another thrilling edition of The Nicholas Cage-Off (with its own theme music!), entertainment "news", Larry's new Top Ten segment, and a frank discussion about what Jake's first screenplay will be about, should he ever get around to writing one. Plus some exciting news about #HolidayMoviepalooza!

So what are you waiting for? Download the new episode now!

NEXT WEEK: The Undertaker and His Pals! (You can watch it for free on YouTube!)