Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Happy Post-Easter Food Coma Day! I hope you found all the Easter eggs that were hidden around the place!

If not, they could go bad. Really bad...

Yeah, I know...I'm late with these tweets again. What do you want from me? I was doing stuff, and yesterday's nap wasn't gonna take itself, no was it? Besides, this is all free, so there's that.

Anyway, there were a bunch of awesome tweets last week from the fine, funny folks of Twitter. One of these days, I may pick some of my favorites from the hashtag games that spring up like weeds over there. Hell, I may even dedicate an entire week's list to my own tweets that I thought were funny. You don't know...

But for now, let's have a look at some people who are way funnier than I am, shall we?

My life is like figure skating. When I fuck up and almost crash, I spin around, show 'perky tits' and pretend like I meant to do that.

— Scotterpops (@Scott_A_Gilmore) March 29, 2015

last night I watched a full length documentary on why my step father, brad, thinks I'm an idiot. he spent 1,500 dollars to make it

— ryan (@Karate_Horse) March 31, 2015

9 chapters earlier in Leviticus, shellfish are on the list of Biblical abominations. So FYI, Lobsterfest is ranked higher than buttfucking.

— Seth MacFarlane (@SethMacFarlane) March 31, 2015

That fancy dress is so small that you look like an elegant sausage.

— Ⓝⓐⓞⓜⓘ (@NaomiGlitter) December 10, 2014

My grandpa used to tell long rambling stories about the war. I'll only be able to tell long rambling stories of scrambled porn & cassettes.

— ¡Burt! Slorp (@Burtslorp) April 2, 2015

was texting with dad and accidentally sent the engagement ring emoji. according to emoji law we are engaged, so we registered at taco bell.

— ron flanson (@johnbiehl) April 2, 2015

OMG SHE'S NOT ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT MILKSHAKES YOU GUYZ.

— bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) April 4, 2015

My 13 year old daughter just lit a cigarette at the kitchen table. I've never been more furious! And in front of her kids too!

— Lemmy (@lemmywinkler) September 18, 2012

Just when I think I've run out of things to tweet about, my cat walks into the room, eating bacon and wearing yoga pants.

— KennectTheDots (@GrabTheWEness) April 2, 2015

Please don't pet my dog. He's working.

— Bob Heller (@Bob_Heller) April 2, 2015

And there you have it!

Now, before we go to the video, I just wanted to let all of you know that we may be a bit late with this week's Here Be Spoilers episode, because Easter happened, and we couldn't get together on Sunday to record. We will, however, be doing so Tuesday, and I'll rush the edit and see about getting up as soon as possible.

So have an awesome week! And to help it along, here's one of my favorite Bad Lip Reading clips. Enjoy, won't we?

All the best,
Derek and Bosco