Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

It's been another fun week, kids! Lots and lots of good stuff from people way funnier than me on the Twitter! Oh, sure, I could drone on about how awesome it is over there, and how there are loads of great, friendly, funny people just waiting to make you laugh. However...

No, really.

...So what say we get right on with the proceedings, shall we?

-Someone was murdered -Someone was murdered -Someone was murdered -Here's a cat riding on a vacuum -Someone was murdered THE LOCAL NEWS

— Steve Dutzy (@SteveDutzy) April 2, 2015

I'm majoring in holes with a minor in slime history and no I'm NOT just doing it for the babes, I truly love knowledge

— Lost Moose Princess (@dvoted_hubsand) April 9, 2015

I changed back to a real photo AVI in case any of you are into middle-aged men with broken minivans and belly fat.

— Andry H'Tims (@Thing_Finder) April 11, 2015

*white girl in a meadow* *clicks ugg boots 3 times* There's no place like coachella *transports to coachella with Starbucks in hands* YAAAAS

— Cocaine Cola (@SatansTongue) April 10, 2015

I am not mature enough for you to advertise that your salad is freshly tossed.

— KatieKay (@WittySassBasket) April 2, 2015

Teacher: Aaand as you see, the answer is 69 *teacher catches me snickering* Something funny, Zebra? Me: Yeah you didn't carry the 4, idiot

— Vegan Zebra (@VeganZebra) April 12, 2015

Those of you making jokes about sneezing & having a butt plug shoot out of your ass, have obviously never lost a parrot to such an event.

— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) April 11, 2015

...so, it's okay to choke babies, just don't throw them into the airplane toilet afterwards? #Prorities pic.twitter.com/EjUusCxLFy

— Professor Shyguy (@ProfessorShyguy) April 11, 2015

Just had a second bowl of fettuccine because I'm carb loading for Toyotathon this weekend.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 11, 2015

What this nation truly needs is more TV shows about morbidly obese, mentally challenged hillbillies building traps for imaginary monsters.

— Natty Lumpo (@nattylumpo88) April 9, 2015

And there you have it! See? I told you. Good stuff!

Anyway, I hope you all have a good week. And to give you the motivating shove you need to start it pointing in that direction, here's one of my favorite bits from this week's Here Be Spoilers movie, Batman The Movie (1966). Enjoy...

All the best,

Derek and Bosco