Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hey, gang!

I have to admit, it hasn't been the most thrilling week in the real world. Oh, nothing particularly terrible has happened or anything; it's just been kind of a "blah" week, is all.

A visual representation of last week.

Then there's Twitter and the amazingly funny and creative people who post there. It's you guys who make it awesome. I'm just there to laugh at your genius! (And make the occasional fart joke, of course.) And it always works. Dropping by there puts me in a good mood, no matter how terrible the day has been. Allow me, if you will, to show you exactly why (in no particular order)...

The other giraffes watched and giggled as Herbert got to button number 87 on his dress shirt before they told him he started one button off.

— SJ (@SuperJuanderer) January 12, 2015

Backed a clown against a wall and forced him to make his own coffin out of balloon animals.

— Karen (Tozzi) (@karentozzi) April 19, 2015

I'm sorry sir, but I do not poop. I only go to the bathroom to talk to the magical dragon that lives inside my vagina. That is all.

— Jabba The Slut (@Furry_Beaver) April 21, 2015

"Circle circle dot dot now you've got your cootie shot." [Jenny McCarthy bursts in and slaps the kid] GET AWAY FROM MY SON!

— Twitnter Is Coming (@OhNoSheTwitnt) April 20, 2015

"What are you doing" Putting this thing that was just in your butt into my mouth "Haha our love is eternal" pic.twitter.com/2BTvRzWzho

— Nice Hippo (@NicestHippo) April 21, 2015

This fanny pack is for my macaroni and cheese, and this fanny pack is for my business cards.

— Danny Charnley (@DanKCharnley) April 22, 2015

You know where you are?! You at Arbys baby! You gonna DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!! Arbys: the jungle. The horror. The meats.

— Nihilist Arby's (@nihilist_arbys) April 11, 2015

If you need me, I'll be sewing cats together. Because tonight is the night that I make "Super Cat"

— Bert (@beertocat) April 25, 2015

Trending baby names, apr 24 2015: •Zonepope •Tace •Gary-Gary •Psylex Totalchip •Brian Michael Peppertoe •Foad •Tiny Danny •Eggfaucet

— Cool Pond (@cool_pond) April 24, 2015

First official image of Jared Leto's Joker released. @absrdNEWS pic.twitter.com/HarQzXRKJJ

— Michael Blackman (@ParaComedian09) April 25, 2015

And there you have it!

As always, I highly recommend you swing on over there and sign up, get involved, and follow the heck out of these funny, sarcastic folks!

A visual representation of Twitter.

So have a great week, and get it started with this classic cheesy music video featuring a murder set to a goofy German pop song...

All the best,
Derek and Bosco