|And don't forget to file your TPS reports, mmmkay?|
Until then, however, I will keep myself entertained by the incredibly hilarious folks on Twitter, because they're funny and weirder (in a good way) than the people I work with. And nothing makes me happier than to share their awesome humor with you, gentle reader, so that maybe your own day gets a little less grindstone-y.
But before we do that, let me take a minute to wish a Happy Star Wars Day to all of you!
|They're so cute when they're young!|
|Memories...Sobriety...A Jedi craves not these things...|
There are 8 people in this movie theatre and you choose to sit directly in front of me NO, I WONT GET MY FEET OFF YOUR HEAD Want a jujube?— ✴ Just Jane ✴ (@jdforshort) April 23, 2015
If you stick a sleeping friend's hand in a bowl of waffle batter his mattress soon after produces a litter of charming throw pillows.— Uncle Dynamite (@UncleDynamite) April 26, 2015
My husband is so particular about his business dinners. Be ready at 4. Dress nice. Don't mention your vagina. Blah, blah, blah.— Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) February 6, 2014
HR- do you know why we called you down here today? Me- your broomstick is broke and you need a ride? HR... Me- a house landed on your sister— laralara (@killazilla) July 18, 2014
Getting mauled by a gummy bear would be adorable.— Lisabug BBQJones (@Lisabug74) April 24, 2015
The only thing that scares me about Alzheimer's is forgetting about Dre.— Will Hinsa (@WillHinsa) April 19, 2015
Be advised Ladies: Once I show you my Knight Rider lunchbox from 1985, foreplay has officially begun.— K. Wid (@WorldofWid) February 13, 2015
my favorite thing about wearing shorts is making others feel a lot better about how they look in shorts— James (@JPwhatever) April 29, 2015
Saw this on Reddit as a defense of the oxford comma. It is now my favorite piece of writing. pic.twitter.com/eubsyiteUh— Marlena Bittner (@lenabitts) May 1, 2015