Hey, guys...Ya know what time it is?
|You bet your hinder it is!|
Yes, if you find yourself watching classic holiday films such as It's A Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, A Christmas Story, or whichever version of Scrooge/A Christmas Carol suits your preferences, and you find yourself thinking, "Gosh, I certainly wish this movie contained more wrinkly old guy asses and ball sacs," then this film is for you!
|Even when if you can't see it, you know his balls are right...there.|
It also turns out to be absolutely nothing what they thought at the same time. Because it turns out that the nefarious plans of the company involved excavating a frozen Santa Claus. Or was it...
As the two men, joined by Pieteri and Aimo, try to figure out what to do with the old guy, a radio in the coat the man was wearing starts squawking, asking of "the cargo is ready to move". They also discover that the old guy is attracted to the scent of both children and gingerbread.
|This means something...This is important...|
Funny you should ask, because it turns out the old guy is actually one of Santa's "helpers", and he, along with many others are there to protect Santa, who is being held in a nearby warehouse.
|Not your dad's Santa Claus...|
His plan involves luring the "helpers" away from Santa so the men can blow the entire warehouse to smithereens, because Finland! This leads to a very disturbing scene where a helicopter carrying a giant net filled with kids (still in potato sacks) being chased by a huge crowd of surprisingly spry naked old dudes.
|So much elderly, wrinkled scrotum.|
Larry is concerned about Pieteri's fashion choices, including hockey pads and helmet, cardboard taped to his ass, and a loaded shotgun. Also, Pieteri's best friend has a mullet and seems to hate him.
Derek is so very, very upset by all the naked old dudes. They just so nude. It's very upsetting. The film is beautifully shot, though. The saggy taint skin comes through with stunning clarity.
Jake, while also bothered by these things, presents an interesting theory concerning where the "helpers" came from. He makes some good sense.
There's also news in The Lobby, a lot of talk about Star Wars in Coming Soon, some serious disagreement with Larry's List, and an interesting look at Jake's childhood in Inside My Head. There's also a lot of completely unnecessary mockery of George Lucas throughout, but it was all in good fun. Really.
So check out this week's episode! But put on some pants first.