In a fit of holiday cheer, I cropdusted the line of kids waiting to see Santa at the mall today.— Derek the Misfit Elf (@TheRealDCF) December 7, 2015
And, of course, I've decided not to talk about terrible stuff in these posts until after Christmas. Instead, I've chosen to put in pictures of basset hounds doing things in slow motion. Picture them with Santa hats, if you think that'll help.
First, of course, we all know that next weekend will see the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. When this list next appears, we will be living in a post-J.J. Abrams' Star Wars world. And I have to be honest; judging by what I've seen and heard, I'm going to be okay with that. So bring it on!
|Bacon, bacon, BACON!|
|What do you think, sirs?|
|Funnily enough, this is what George Lucas looks like when he shakes his head, too!|
Anyway, here's a delicious, munchy, crunchy, chocolatey taste of some tweets from the folks over there, in no particular order...
[god creating bees] Put a needle on its butt. “Come on God, wha—“ Make its puke delicious. “WTF.”— MILTRON (@themiltron) April 8, 2015
Nativity scenes become something else entirely if you put a fork and knife in the hands of the adults.— Matt Fernandez (@FattMernandez) December 22, 2014
It's important to be comfortable in your own skin... Because, apparently, it's illegal to wear someone else's.— AmishPornStar (@AmishPornStar1) December 7, 2015
Calling Donald Trump "politically incorrect" is like calling Bill Cosby "a little handsy".— Steve Hofstetter (@SteveHofstetter) December 8, 2015
Don't die a virgin. There are terrorists up there waiting for you.— Taylor (@saucydalek) January 10, 2015
I love public parks. People yell out the craziest, random shit. "You're God damn filthy, Elaine!" "I have diabetes!" "Jizz!!!!"— Aimee Helene (@AimeeHelene1) December 8, 2015
You kids with your BB-8. When I was a kid, all we had was R2-D2. And we had to walk uphill, through Hoth, to get one.— Dan Slott (@DanSlott) December 10, 2015
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup?— Princess Consuela (@urbancrowx) October 14, 2015
I'm not jiggy with this. I'm not jiggy with this at all.— Justin Guarini (@JustinGuarini) November 22, 2015
[going down on a girl] what's this string do? "DON'T PULL IT" [from inside her vagina] the cow goes moooooo— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) December 13, 2015
And there you have it! So get out there and get your shopping done! If you're looking for something to buy for me, if you can find something with the words "LEGO" and "Star Wars" on it, that'll do fine. Meanwhile, dig this video clip from the #BringBackMST3K Streaming Telethon that brought in the remainder of the money for the Kickstarter campaign. It's Dana Gould as Dr. Zaius as William Shatner doing a dramatic reading of "Santas Claus Is Coming To Town".
Awesome, right? Well, finish it out with this .gif, which Bosco insisted I put this on here...
Derek and Bosco