So, in an attempt to make sure you guys keep your mind moving in the proper, non-murdery direction, this week's pics have googly eyes. You're welcome.
|Don't make Dobby cry, you bastards.|
Unveiling of Dick Cheney bust at the Capitol Visitors Center pic.twitter.com/gOEUP0UJ59— meearf (@meearf) December 3, 2015
Astoundingly, he failed to burst into flames under direct sunlight. Who knew, right?
|See? This is how ALL movies should be done...|
Kim Kardashian likes her men, the same way she likes her coffee... ...Without any musical talent whatsoever— Will Rodgers (@WilliamRodgers) November 4, 2015
Meanwhile, I kept my mind on other, more important stuff. You know...Deep philosophical things...
Today's fun thought: Imagine Buffalo Bill singing "All I Want For Christmas Is You". pic.twitter.com/ILnB2GR4oj— Derek the Misfit Elf (@TheRealDCF) December 4, 2015
In a fit of holiday cheer, I cropdusted the line of kids waiting to see Santa at the mall today.— Derek the Misfit Elf (@TheRealDCF) December 7, 2015
|I know you are, but what am I?|
In no particular order...
We survive by breathing in plant farts. Carry on.— SYLVIA Cassidy (@SYLVIA8_3Cassid) November 29, 2015
a clown in a bungee noose bounces giddily in the wind *Squonk* with the cadence of gales *SquonkHawnk*— BleachCobbler (@Puercotron) November 29, 2015
Baby, I'm like putty in your hands. By that I mean your fingers are going to smell weird after you touch me.— Danny Charnley (@DanKCharnley) December 1, 2015
"Bad dates." —Sallah snatching Indy's phone out of his hand before he can open Tinder— yuletide UFO expert (@wienerherzog) November 26, 2015
DIAMONDS ARE A GIRLS BEST FRIEND, DIAMONDS ARE A BOYS BEST FRIEND, DIAMONDS USE MIND CONTROL TO GAIN YOUR FRIENDSHIP, DO NOT TRUST THEM.— non human paul (@Death_Buddy) December 4, 2015
*drinks plain coffee out of a styrofoam cup *white girls in UGGs run away screaming— C. (@bossy_bootz) December 5, 2015
It's hard to believe in God when every time I go to Subway the person in front of me has NO IDEA HOW SUBWAY WORKS.— tchrquotes (@tchrquotes) September 15, 2015
My greatest fear is that I'll have on dirty underwear & the emergency first responders will just leave me to die I blame my mom for this— EnvyDaTropic (@envydatropic) December 5, 2015
Why doesn't Clarence just tell George where the $8,000 is— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) December 6, 2015
One of my biggest fears is seeing two dogs having sex in any other position than doggy style.— Maggie Mull (@IAmMaggieMull) December 5, 2015
And there you have it! Now get out there and finish the week with pure, unbridled awesomeness, will you? And remember: Just a little over a week before Star Wars: The Force Awakens hits theaters! So get out there and shine up your Darth Vader helmets and lightsabers!
|I'm pretty sure this was an early prototype...|
All the best,
Derek and Bosco