Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hey, guys!

Well, it's been a heckuva week. Not nearly as pointlessly murdery as it has been recently, so I'm willing to call that a win. And as a reward for behaving (more or less), this week's animations all have googly eyes!

See? Horror is way more fun with googly eyes!

Anyway, there's a lot of talk about Trump this week (which, as we all know, he loves so very, very much), all of which is not good. (I know, I know...Shocking.)

F'rinstance, it seems ol' Donnie can't keep off of Twitter to insult Hilary Clinton, Elisabeth Warren, and anybody else who won't fawn all over him. And those accounts are taking shots back at them. Last week, Clinton hit him right in the ego with this beauty:

Trump has written a lot of books about business—but they all seem to end at Chapter 11.

— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) June 21, 2016

Donald pretended not to notice, and continued to call Warren "Pocahontas" because she has mentioned before that she is, in some fraction of her makeup, Native American. But he continues to insist that he's not a racist.

Right.

Does he look...like a bitch?!

Trump also fired his campaign manager, female journalist-shover Corey Lewandowski, last week, where he was quickly scooped up by CNN, for some reason. Be prepared for so much unbiased reporting about Trump. (*snort* I crack myself up sometimes...) Twitter was quick to respond to the firing.

BREAKING: Trump ditches his campaign manager. Let's go live to Trump headquarters for comment. pic.twitter.com/52KqYTw7Sz

— side-eye spice (@goldengateblond) June 20, 2016

Also of note, there's this...

Donald Trump's twitter drafts were just leaked. Wow. pic.twitter.com/j6vX02TPhV

— Lyle Clip Art (@Kyle_Lippert) June 23, 2016

Nothing particularly surprising.

TRUUUUUUUUUMP!

Over across the pond, Britain decided (by a pretty narrow margin) to leave the European Union. Judging by some of the tweets I've seen, this appears to mean that racists can now be openly obnoxious and viciously rude to people who don't look like them.

Right now the EU is drunk texting Scotland "u up? wyd?"

— donni (@donni) June 24, 2016

(Trump voters, take note. When Donald loses, you can probably go live there and be as xenophobic and hateful as you like.)

Go back to dryland, you lousy air breather!

Now let's look at some tweets, shall we? And, as always, come on over and join the conversation! See some funny and make your own!

In no particular order...

It makes me sad when I see a plastic bag floating in the air because obviously there are no cookies in that bag.

— Troy Johnson (@_troyjohnson) June 16, 2016

In the United States you are innocent until proven that you've run out of money.

— Ironballs McGinty (@IronballsMcGinT) August 19, 2015

Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have snacks in your purse.

— The BOB (@mackswift) October 2, 2013

Finally figured out who I'm voting for. pic.twitter.com/Ge103XO2i6

— You had one job (@DudeUHadOneJob) June 25, 2016

"hair of a sea witch. body of a sack of potatoes. energy level of a koala. Horniness of a teenage cartoon boy."-- God making me

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) June 20, 2016

FB goes from a virtual dad wallet full of baby photos to a fight to the death over emotionally triggering politicized news in like 2 seconds

— CrustfundBabies (@SaveItForFest) June 16, 2016

Henry Kissinger can't have the one thing he really wants pic.twitter.com/Z8fPFi2U5Z

— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) June 24, 2016

I just put some sriracha on my chicken & now it won't stop vaping & lecturing me on the virtues of vinyl over digital recordings.

— James (@JaySaysStuff) June 23, 2016

I don't want anything fancy after I die, chopped up and crammed in a backpack that Tommy Lee Jones must carry everywhere is fine.

— Soren Bowie (@Soren_Ltd) June 23, 2016

Props to Jon Bon Jovi for continuing to keep up with the hairstyles of women his age.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 23, 2016

And there you have it! Now get out there and have an awesome week! And to start it off, here's a little video clip to get you motivated...

All the best,
Derek and Bosco