July 6, 2016

FDR: American Badass

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This week, the guys were joined by their pal Troy Parker, who even chose this week's movie...


Barry Bostwick (you should remember him as Brad from Rocky Horror Picture Show...If not, move along) stars as Franklin Delano Roosevelt, the most ass-kickingest, polio-havingest president ever to grace the planet.

Also, a surprisingly messy eater.
When FDR contracts polio through the bite of a Nazi werewolf, he sets off on a crusade to run for president so he can personally kick werewolf Hitler (Jesse Merlin), werewolf Hirohito (Jamison Yang), and werewolf Mussolini (Paul Ben-Victor) directly in the taints. (Metaphorically speaking, of course.)

Wait a minute...Hot singles in MY area?!
As he campaigns across the country, with the assistance of his servant Louis (Bruce McGill) and the support of his wife, Eleanor (Lin Shaye), he meets an astounding number of unusual people, including Cleavon Buford (Ross Patterson) and his wife, the astoundingly open-minded Marietta (Keri Lynn Pratt), who help FDR win the presidency just in time to end prohibition and enter World War II.

And maybe diddle his secretary a little bit.
To help with FDR, he is given a specially-designed wheelchair that has two shoulder-mounted rocket launchers and machine guns built into the wheels, and he is not afraid to use it!

When the werewolf axis powers try to infect Americans with the werewolf virus (which, by the way, also carries the polio virus, but that part only works on the area where a person is bitten), FDR takes his new chair, the Delano 2000 (Named as such "because it'll blast those motherfuckers into the next century!")

Goddamn right!
When it all comes down to business, it ends up being a head-to-head battle between FDR and werewolf Hitler...And only one man is coming out of this alive.

Jake is a little concerned about the mechanics of FDR's wheelchair, as it appears the two rocket launchers are nothing more than some heater duct piping. Otherwise, though, he believes this movie to be one of the greats.

Larry is a big fan of FDR's secretary, despite her incessant need to involve condiments in her...um...dalliances with the president. She claims it's because his legs remind her of Coney Island, which is weird in itself, but there's really no need to spray him with ketchup and mustard.

Troy believes this film is what convinced his fiancee that he is The One. The others can hardly disagree, as a negative reaction to a movie like this seems like it would be a pretty definite sign, one way or the other.

Derek has concerns about the historical accuracy of this documentary. We're not entirely sure he is aware of what's going on around here, but we keep him on because he's the only one who knows how to work the recorder.

There's also presidents and the monsters they would hunt in Larry's List, and Jake-ing Off and Inside My Head have been combined into a free-for-all chatfest! This week, they guys talk about comic books, comic book movies, and the Worst. X-Man. Ever.

So tune in, turn on, and listen! Also, remember: You're vote counts...as a suggestion to the anonymous people of the Electoral College who will actually be choosing the next leader of the free world. DEMOCRACY!