As today is July 4th, I decided to find GIFs of the most American thing I could find...
|That's right: Hulk goddamn Hogan. Deal with it.|
First off, I had absolutely no plans to talk about the human Mac & Cheeto that's running for office, but then he went and dropped yet another colossal turd on Twitter and now I just can't stop myself.
Ya see, on the day that it was announced Holocaust survivor and political activist Elie Wiesel had passed away, Trump posted an image proclaiming that Hillary Clinton is the "Most corrupt candidate ever!" Okay...no big deal, right? I mean, it's pretty standard that a politician from one party will make remarks like that about his/her opposition.
Yeah, but then there's the bit about how those words are written on a big ol' Star of David, which itself is sitting on a background of $100 bills. I'm not putting in on here, but here's a link to both that image, and the one they replaced it with; you can still see two of the points on the star, if you look close.)
Of course, the fine, funny folks of Twitter landed on Trump like a load of rectangular building things, and there were so many to choose from, I decided to go with this one because it seems like the most likely scenario:
Really excited for Trump to try to deflate the Star of David tweet by asking "Where's my Jew" at his next rally #pivot— Matthew Gertz (@MattGertz) July 2, 2016
Go ahead...Tell me you didn't picture him doing that as you read it.
|I'm concerned about what he's doing back there...|
I mean, there's got to be a reason that he keep cramming his foot so far down his own throat that it tickles his butthole, right?
|Or, to coin a different metaphor, he wants to "drown that dog."|
Top 5 Canadian truths— june (@junejuly12) July 1, 2016
5. No one knows John from Toronto
4. Those u's are stupid
3. It is ham
2. We do eh a lot
1. We're not sorry
Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to see your dream apartment w/ 1st month's rent free! pic.twitter.com/qCE8jtJPqi— Danny Charnley (@DanKCharnley) June 26, 2016
Please donate to my GoFundMe page. I'm not sick or dying or anything, I just don't want to go to work anymore.— Drew (@dmc1138) April 17, 2016
Crystal Pepsi is back! Which is perfect because now I can remember all the good times I had in the 90's not drinking Crystal Pepsi.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 29, 2016
I would describe most of my social interactions at parties as "when you turn on the kitchen faucet and the water hits a spoon in the sink"— Chimney Spotter (@chimneyspotter) June 18, 2016
Picture someone chasing down a ping pong ball that fell on the floor.— American Gent (@AmericanGent69) May 22, 2016
Ok that's how I dance.
Screw you guys...I love Gymkata! pic.twitter.com/AR5iraqioc— ALL NEW SUX (@AllNewSux) June 30, 2016
Burned the fingertips of my left hand. Fingerprints prob temporarily gone. Avail. for crime spree. Diabolical left-handed crimes only.— Marly (@VerbsRProudest) June 30, 2016
If Kevin Bacon doesn't whisper "Here comes the Baconator" before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost— Mr. Hook™ (@Phook75) June 30, 2016
No, Grandma. People are sick of banana cream pies. There are plenty of other kinds. Type "cream pie" into Google.— Vodka n Tots (@Vodkantots) April 9, 2016
*winks at camera
And there you have it! Now finish enjoying your July 4th, and have an awesome rest of the week! To help that along, here's a patriotic song for you.
Now get your asses outta here!
|Look at it. LOOK AT IT!!!|
Derek and Bosco