July 11, 2016

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Seriously, you guys?

Look, I'm going to be honest here; I almost didn't post a list this week because it's hard to try and focus on funny stuff when people are dropping left and right. First, there was Alton Sterling, an African-American, who was shot by police while he was being held down. Why? Because he was selling CDs from the trunk of his car.

What the hell?

Then there was Philando Castile, who was in a car that had been pulled over for a broken tail light. Castile, an African-American, told the officer that he had a concealed weapon permit, and he was, in fact, carrying. When he reached for his license, the officer shot him several times. In front of his girlfriend and her small child.


No, really...What the hell?

Then, in Dallas, where a peaceful Black Lives Matter protest was going on, a man who told police he was angry about those two shootings, as well as the growing list of others, opened fire on the Dallas police officers who were just keeping an eye on things. And, since the protest was so peaceful, the officers were  just roaming the crowd, chatting with the people, and some even stopped to take photos with them.


And then Micah Johnson opened fire, killing five officers and wounding six others.

What. The. Hell.

And, of course, the pundits and politicians are no help. One only needs to pull up comments from asshats like Joe Walsh or Rudy Giuliani or, naturally, Donald Trump to see that they're working that pump to fan the flames as hard as they can and drive a wedge between white people and black people. My response to them: Fuck those assholes.

Among those listed? Certainly.
But I must persist. So I'm going ahead with the other stuff I wanted to talk about first, and then I'll throw some tweets in your face and, hopefully, we'll all be able to hug and try not to be jerks to each other.

Before I get to the funnier stuff, I do want to address something that happened after I posted last week's list.

Now, as you may remember, I talked a bit about the whole Donald Trump/Star of David thing, and I wondered, basically, whether Trump was starting to come to the realization that, should he win the election (yeah...that's likely), he would have to, you know, actually be the president and do the president's job, and perhaps he was not really feeling that. So, I wondered whether he had decided to try and tank his campaign so he wouldn't have to just come out and say, "I quit" -- something he's clearly not fond of doing, except when it comes to paying contractors and stuff.

But the bottom line is, I was just throwing my theory out there and seeing if it would stick. That was the whole point of that bit.

Now, if you scroll down to the bottom of this page, you'll notice that there's a little box where you can, should you feel the need, tell me what you thought of the post. If it sucked, you can tell me in there. If you loved it, you can tell me in there. That's the point of it. Go ahead and use it, if you'd like.

However, my cousin decided that, instead of commenting on it here, he wanted to say something on the link to the post that I had put on my Facebook page, where I make a concerted effort to avoid talking about politics because, frankly, there's no middle ground, and you're either a completely wrong commie pinko dirtbag, or a racist xenophobic money grubbing conservative.

My cousin, a big Trump fan who reads Breitbart on purpose, felt that he had to defend Trump by parroting the "it's a sheriff's badge" argument, and went so far as to say that, since my grandfather was a sheriff's deputy (in Wayne County, Michigan), I was saying he was a racist because he wore and actual sheriff's star.
Sheriff Badges.
Not Sheriff Badges. (Pay particular attention to the far right, middle row one.)
Well, I deleted the comment. I don't regret it, because I don't discuss politics over there, and also because it was a stupid comment meant to shame me into not bringing it up again. Well, that's too bad. Trump is a racist. He panders to white supremacists and other racist, as well as xenophobes. If you deny that, you're either stupid or a racist yourself. Or both.

That said, feel free to say what's on your mind, agree or disagree, but say it here.

FLAWLESS VICTORY!
On a related note: The interwebs continues to pound Trump mercilessly over his dumbass comment, as well his usual dumbass self.

Wise guy, eh?
Aaaaaaanyway, moving on to something a little more uplifting, you may remember last year, when we here at Ugly Couchcast Industries went bonkers(in a cool way) when our pal Billy Brooks got engaged to his partner Barry Bishop during the Con Man panel last year at San Diego Comic Con. If not, here's the video clip from it:


Neat, right? When I contacted Billy to congratulate the two of them, I pointed out that they were going to have a hard time trying to top that for the actual wedding.

Funny story: Saturday, I was poking around on Twitter and say this post:

Son of a--...They did it. They pulled off awesome twice. Congratulations, Billy and Barry! Thanks for making a bright spot in an otherwise dark week.

Celebrate with some pie!
And now...What say we go have a look at some tweets, huh? And, as usual, if you dig 'em, come on over and join the conversation! Be funnier than me! (It's not that hard, really.)

In no particular order...

And there you have it. Now get out there, have a great week, and try to make sure nobody's murdering anybody, will ya? I don't care if you're black, white, a cop, a ninja, a one-legged albino Puerto Rican...I want to see all of you guys alive and well next week. Got that? Good. Now here's a classic tune from my youth...


All the best,
Derek and Bosco