Look, I'm going to be honest here; I almost didn't post a list this week because it's hard to try and focus on funny stuff when people are dropping left and right. First, there was Alton Sterling, an African-American, who was shot by police while he was being held down. Why? Because he was selling CDs from the trunk of his car.
What the hell?
Then there was Philando Castile, who was in a car that had been pulled over for a broken tail light. Castile, an African-American, told the officer that he had a concealed weapon permit, and he was, in fact, carrying. When he reached for his license, the officer shot him several times. In front of his girlfriend and her small child.
BLACK AMERICAN: The police killed another one of us.— Bill Corbett (@BillCorbett) July 7, 2016
WHITE AMERICAN: Wait, let me find literally any reason to tell you why he deserved it.
No, really...What the hell?
Then, in Dallas, where a peaceful Black Lives Matter protest was going on, a man who told police he was angry about those two shootings, as well as the growing list of others, opened fire on the Dallas police officers who were just keeping an eye on things. And, since the protest was so peaceful, the officers were just roaming the crowd, chatting with the people, and some even stopped to take photos with them.
And then Micah Johnson opened fire, killing five officers and wounding six others.
What. The. Hell.
And, of course, the pundits and politicians are no help. One only needs to pull up comments from asshats like Joe Walsh or Rudy Giuliani or, naturally, Donald Trump to see that they're working that pump to fan the flames as hard as they can and drive a wedge between white people and black people. My response to them: Fuck those assholes.
|Among those listed? Certainly.|
But I must persist. So I'm going ahead with the other stuff I wanted to talk about first, and then I'll throw some tweets in your face and, hopefully, we'll all be able to hug and try not to be jerks to each other.
Before I get to the funnier stuff, I do want to address something that happened after I posted last week's list.
Now, as you may remember, I talked a bit about the whole Donald Trump/Star of David thing, and I wondered, basically, whether Trump was starting to come to the realization that, should he win the election (yeah...that's likely), he would have to, you know, actually be the president and do the president's job, and perhaps he was not really feeling that. So, I wondered whether he had decided to try and tank his campaign so he wouldn't have to just come out and say, "I quit" -- something he's clearly not fond of doing, except when it comes to paying contractors and stuff.
But the bottom line is, I was just throwing my theory out there and seeing if it would stick. That was the whole point of that bit.
Now, if you scroll down to the bottom of this page, you'll notice that there's a little box where you can, should you feel the need, tell me what you thought of the post. If it sucked, you can tell me in there. If you loved it, you can tell me in there. That's the point of it. Go ahead and use it, if you'd like.
However, my cousin decided that, instead of commenting on it here, he wanted to say something on the link to the post that I had put on my Facebook page, where I make a concerted effort to avoid talking about politics because, frankly, there's no middle ground, and you're either a completely wrong commie pinko dirtbag, or a racist xenophobic money grubbing conservative.
My cousin, a big Trump fan who reads Breitbart on purpose, felt that he had to defend Trump by parroting the "it's a sheriff's badge" argument, and went so far as to say that, since my grandfather was a sheriff's deputy (in Wayne County, Michigan), I was saying he was a racist because he wore and actual sheriff's star.
|Not Sheriff Badges. (Pay particular attention to the far right, middle row one.)|
Well, I deleted the comment. I don't regret it, because I don't discuss politics over there, and also because it was a stupid comment meant to shame me into not bringing it up again. Well, that's too bad. Trump is a racist. He panders to white supremacists and other racist, as well as xenophobes. If you deny that, you're either stupid or a racist yourself. Or both.
That said, feel free to say what's on your mind, agree or disagree, but say it here.
On a related note: The interwebs continues to pound Trump mercilessly over his dumbass comment, as well his usual dumbass self.
Aaaaaaanyway, moving on to something a little more uplifting, you may remember last year, when we here at Ugly Couchcast Industries went bonkers(in a cool way) when our pal Billy Brooks got engaged to his partner Barry Bishop during the Con Man panel last year at San Diego Comic Con. If not, here's the video clip from it:
IT'S A SHERIFF'S SWASTIKA!— Political Line (@PoliticalLine) July 4, 2016
Trump is an Orange Supremacist— Paul Lander (@paul_lander) July 5, 2016
.@realDonaldTrump He is permitted to fly on AF1 because of something you'll never experience: he's President. https://t.co/RU0MRQike3— Keith Olbermann (@KeithOlbermann) July 5, 2016
|Wise guy, eh?|
Neat, right? When I contacted Billy to congratulate the two of them, I pointed out that they were going to have a hard time trying to top that for the actual wedding.
Funny story: Saturday, I was poking around on Twitter and say this post:
Son of a--...They did it. They pulled off awesome twice. Congratulations, Billy and Barry! Thanks for making a bright spot in an otherwise dark week.In CA, a marriage where only the 2 parties and the officiant are present, is a Confidential Marriage. Guess what? pic.twitter.com/RaZV1b2biE— Billy Brooks (@billybrooks) July 9, 2016
|Celebrate with some pie!|
In no particular order...
Men are total lemmings. Slaves to lust despite known consequences and the proof of that is that dudes still willingly date Taylor Swift.— Creed (@novicefather) July 4, 2016
I just got followed by Siri. Am I in the Matrix...? pic.twitter.com/lSJMuMMgZi— Cam (@GinAndJif) July 4, 2016
I saved $38 by moving the fish tank in front of the TV during "Ellen" and telling my kids it was Finding Dory.— Rick Aaron (@RickAaron) June 18, 2016
When I was a kid I would make my Darth Vader and Skeletor action figures fight. I had no idea I was playing "2016 Presidential Election".— Sarcasticsapien (@Sarcasticsapien) July 3, 2016
Somebody drew a giant penis on the Tour de France route. Happy Monday! :) https://t.co/AOZ2FMzOGT pic.twitter.com/DOAHHr63B0— Lauren O'Neil (@laurenonizzle) July 4, 2016
Ah, my youth: We sang praises to our processed meat products. Bologna had a first name. We all wished to be wieners. It was a gentler age.— RunwayDan (@RunwayDan) July 5, 2016
You see a rat, but I see a hardworking dad just trying to feed his 4 teenaged turtles pic.twitter.com/a2ccfdiLvp— WORLD STAR (@WorIdStarJokes) July 6, 2016
OK UK WE'RE DONE MOCKING YOU FOR THE BREXIT THING IT'S YOUR TURN TO GO AT US AGAIN pic.twitter.com/kYZTKFdWoU— JD (@nevesytrof) July 7, 2016
Her: have you had the sex talk with our son yet?— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) June 1, 2016
Me: *looks over at son wearing crocs* I think we can wait a few years
And there you have it. Now get out there, have a great week, and try to make sure nobody's murdering anybody, will ya? I don't care if you're black, white, a cop, a ninja, a one-legged albino Puerto Rican...I want to see all of you guys alive and well next week. Got that? Good. Now here's a classic tune from my youth...Most people don't know this but I received a congressional medal of honor for calling out Osama bin Laden in my ice bucket challenge video— vineyille (@vineyille) July 5, 2016
All the best,
Derek and Bosco