May 15, 2017

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Holy monkey! What a week, huh? And I want to get into all that right away. But first, I want to tell you all that I went back to the bottomless well of weirdness that is Japan, choosing this time to have a look at some of their game shows for this week's GIFs. I don't know the context for any of them, but the clips pretty much speak for themselves.

As for what they are saying, you're on your own.
Anyway, it was a terrible, no-good, very bad week for Angry Orange last week, starting with the announcement that Sally Yates was going to testify before the Senate's Investigative Committee concerning the whole Michael Flynn thing. He was a little concerned, obviously, because he waited 18 days before firing Flynn, despite Yates warning him and others in the White House that Flynn had accepted money from Russia. Instead, he fired Yates, ostensibly because she refused to back his unconstitutional travel ban.

When he realized she might say something that could make him look bad, he did what he usually does; he tried to distract away from that and also cast doubt on Yates herself.

If I had to guess, you should check with your W.H. Counsel.
First, he tweeted that on his personal account, and then, as you can see above, he put it on the official presidential account.

However, Yates was not to be swerved from telling her side of the story. And she did exactly that.

In fact, she said a lot of stuff that makes no doubt made Angry Orange yell at his television a lot. Since I have no urge to post the entire appearance, here's a detailed and entertaining rundown of what happened, as posted in real-time by Eric Garland:

And that was just the beginning of the week!

Reporters try to get past the Press Office so they can ask Sean Spicer questions.
Next came the rather sudden and surprising firing of FBI Director James Comey. You might remember him as the guy who, not very long before the election, came forward and said they were reopening the investigation into Hillary Clinton's e-mails because some were found on Anthony Weiner's laptop. (They all turned out to be a great big zero, and many were concerned that the whole thing was just Comey trying to screw over Clinton. Personally, I was on the fence, but I thought that, whether intended or not, he really put the screws to her.)

Anyway, Comey was dropped like a bad habit, and it seems nobody told Angry Orange's staff why or anything. But not to worry! He had a story ready! It turned out that he was doing along with the advice of Jeff Sessions and Rod Rosenstein! So that fixes everything, right?

Oh. Well, shit.

Okay, okay...Not to worry! Things were still pretty straightforward. Trump wasn't doing this to slow down the current FBI investigation into his campaign's contacts with Russian spies or anything! It was because of the horrible, mean things that Comey did to Clinton during the election.

Seriously. They said that. Well, they said that after Sean Spicer stopped hiding among the Rose Garden shrubbery.

So that explained it all. There was no sketchy fuckery going on, and Comey was let go because he handled the Clinton investigation poorly. Nothing to worry about.

It's right about 1:09 into the clip, if you want to skip past.


I'm sure this is some kind of metaphor or something.
So now, the search is on for a new FBI Director. And while a lot of names are being bandied about, I thought this little exchange was entertaining:

And then Angry Orange threatened to release audio tapes of the conversation he had with Comey when he invited the Director to the White House for dinner. Well, then it came out that Angry Orange asked Comey to pledge his loyalty, and Comey was all, "I think not, dude." At that point, Comey says, he knew his days were numbered. And he was right.

But now, he's getting a lot more attention because people are calling for him to talk to the Senate, but he won't do it until it's in an open forum, because he wants the public to know what happened. Angry Orange is not gonna be happy about that.

I think it will go a little something like this. Guess who is who in this scenario.

Oh, and one other thing: As I write this, it is being reported that, when Angry Orange had Russians in the Oval Office last week (where he allowed Russian photographers but not the ones from the U.S. press), it turns out he bragged about some of the extremely classified information he is given. AND HE SHOWED IT TO THEM.

Why has he not been impeached yet? Oh...Right...Because the GOP are spineless assholes who care about nothing more than pushing their destructive agenda through. My bad. I should have remembered.

I don't know what or why this is, but I wanna do it.
And then there were tweets...

And there you have it! Now get out there and have a great week! And hope we don't get blown to smithereens before Friday. To help that along, here's a Star Wars version of "Bohemian Rhapsody":

I'm outta here...

All the best,
Derek and Bosco