May 1, 2017

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hi, everybody!

Well, another week has come and gone, and we are still, surprisingly, here. But that's not for a lack of trying on Angry Orange's part. We'll get to him in just a minute.

First, I want to mention that we're rockin' more GIFs from the strange people of Japan. Why? Because I enjoy looking at them on Google, without description, and trying to figure out the context. I have yet to come up with any reasonable explanations yet. Case in point:

Seriously...What the hell am I looking at here?
Anyway...Angry Orange spent most of this week trying to convince us that the who "First 100 Days" thing is irrelevant and arbitrary, all the while pushing anyone he can to get something--anything--done that he can take credit for. Because pickings are lookin' pretty slim right now.

At the same time, there was a march in favor of science. Well, mostly, it was a climate march, but still...this is science, people. Not some sort of unicorn poop-based voodoo. Let that sink in for a moment. And then go search for the hilarious signs the marchers made, as well as what people had to say about the whole thing.

This is what happens when you mix brains with snark. Keep it up, folks.

And this...Well, shit. I dunno. But the little doggy is adorable.
It's enough to really bring you down, if you let it. And that's why we cannot let it. There are ways to stay cheerful through all this asshattery, and there are, of course, plenty of people willing to share it.

To those who keep the funny coming, you have my eternal thanks.

But this...this has taken my soul...
In hysterically funny news, Fyre Festival happened to a bunch of rich asshole kids. Basically, Ja Rule, who I am assured is a real person, hosted a concert festival, and he and the promoters promised luxury accommodations, professionally catering, and the best music 1998 had to offer. For this, festival goers paid between $4000 and $12,000, on average.

Unfortunately, what they got was disaster tents, cold cheese sandwiches, looting, wild dogs, and fires. While these sound like they are terrible things to happen to anyone, it could have been worse; Blink-182 was supposed to headline, so those poor little rich kids could have ended up sitting through an entire Blink-182 concert, featuring their hit song, All The Small Things,,,, and a bunch of other songs that aren't All The Small Things... Nobody wins when that happens.

Along with these tweets, there were also roughly 267,872 variants of "The cops have heard 'Do you know who my father is?' so much this weekend,"

This should explain it better.
As for me, I did it again, you guys...I may have given away too much personal information about myself.

I also said what we were all thinking when Gwyneth Paltrow decided to force her Goop on an unsuspecting public.

And I needed to know the answer to a very important question.

No response yet, but I remain optimistic.

"I can haz murder and destruction?"
And then there were tweets. I'll admit, I got a bit behind this past week, but I was able to cobble together a great list of funny people. Let's have a look, shall we?

And there you have it! Now get out there and have a great week! And to help it along, here's a parody song from interweb sensation @Dreamweasel! Go follow him!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco