Well, another week has come and gone, and we are still, surprisingly, here. But that's not for a lack of trying on Angry Orange's part. We'll get to him in just a minute.
First, I want to mention that we're rockin' more GIFs from the strange people of Japan. Why? Because I enjoy looking at them on Google, without description, and trying to figure out the context. I have yet to come up with any reasonable explanations yet. Case in point:
|Seriously...What the hell am I looking at here?|
Donald Trump has achieved as much as the President of the United States as I have as the President of the United States.— Hari Kondabolu (@harikondabolu) April 23, 2017
At the same time, there was a march in favor of science. Well, mostly, it was a climate march, but still...this is science, people. Not some sort of unicorn poop-based voodoo. Let that sink in for a moment. And then go search for the hilarious signs the marchers made, as well as what people had to say about the whole thing.
Sine game 💯 pic.twitter.com/S81UrJpY24— Alison Griswold (@alisongriswold) April 22, 2017
The numbers for the Science March seem high but we won't know until we compare it to the numbers at the placebo march that's also happening— Siobhan Thompson (@vornietom) April 22, 2017
Views that now require mass marches:— Sarah Kendzior (@sarahkendzior) April 23, 2017
* Women are people who deserve rights
* Science is important; don't ban it
* POTUS should pay taxes
This is what happens when you mix brains with snark. Keep it up, folks.
|And this...Well, shit. I dunno. But the little doggy is adorable.|
I used FaceApp on the men of the GOP. I call it "Too Many Pams." pic.twitter.com/nLvOjLGNXo— Lindsay Goldwert (@lindsaygoldwert) April 24, 2017
To those who keep the funny coming, you have my eternal thanks.
|But this...this has taken my soul...|
Unfortunately, what they got was disaster tents, cold cheese sandwiches, looting, wild dogs, and fires. While these sound like they are terrible things to happen to anyone, it could have been worse; Blink-182 was supposed to headline, so those poor little rich kids could have ended up sitting through an entire Blink-182 concert, featuring their hit song, All The Small Things,,,, and a bunch of other songs that aren't All The Small Things... Nobody wins when that happens.
quick summary of #fyrefestival:— prescription shoes (@porn_horse) April 28, 2017
Ja Rule and dozens of Instagram models lured trust fund kids to an island and are now hunting them for sport
Along with these tweets, there were also roughly 267,872 variants of "The cops have heard 'Do you know who my father is?' so much this weekend,"
|This should explain it better.|
Pee-Wee's Big Adventure#MySexLifeDescribedByMovieTitle— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) April 24, 2017
I also said what we were all thinking when Gwyneth Paltrow decided to force her Goop on an unsuspecting public.
Gross. pic.twitter.com/ngtp5Tsqjq— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) April 28, 2017
And I needed to know the answer to a very important question.
If those hot MILFs in my area are so horny, how come I have to go find them? Maybe they wouldn't be so lonely if they made a little effort.— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) April 22, 2017
No response yet, but I remain optimistic.
|"I can haz murder and destruction?"|
Clark Kent is such a hipster.— Steve Dutzy (@SteveDutzy) April 23, 2017
He has fake glasses, still uses phone booths, & prides himself as being the only one who hasn't seen Superman
Charlie Brown and Lucy, both now 40-something divorced alcoholics, hook up for what is surely the greatest hate fuck in history.— Mr. Bea Arthur (@FuckabillyRex) April 24, 2017
I keep trying to turn my hat around backwards so I can get down to business, but it's a sombrero and I'm making zero progress.— Goats? (@Gooooats) October 11, 2016
How many hours a day does @seanhannity spend just SCREAMING at his penis? Eight? Nine?— Wendy Molyneux (@WendyMolyneux) April 27, 2017
I put my pants on like everyone else. In the dark, backwards & falling over furniture as I scream the F word so loudly that the walls shake.— The Sassiest Semite (@LittleMissLizz) April 29, 2017
How am I the only one at this middle school play with a foam finger and a hotdog?— Ginger🔥Hot🔥Dish (@GingerHotDish) April 28, 2017
In the 80s you needed a flatbed truck and a crane to put your new TV in the living room...I just hung a 70 inch with a thumb tack.— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) April 27, 2017
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it’s another brilliant performance by Daniel Day-Lewis— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) April 26, 2017
The only time I use math is at the cemetery to figure out if people were my age when they died.— Beverlicious🔥 (@blade_funner) April 25, 2017
MY DAD: Foreigners in this country need to learn English.— Qwerty Jones (@QwertyJones3) April 5, 2017
ALSO MY DAD: I heard you got a new hi-bird car.
And there you have it! Now get out there and have a great week! And to help it along, here's a parody song from interweb sensation @Dreamweasel! Go follow him!
All the best,
Derek and Bosco