August 2, 2017

Birdemic 2: The Resurrection

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120 episodes ago, Derek and Jake sat down with their friend Jess, who was filling in for Larry, to watch Birdemic, a movie about a mentally-challenged software salesman and the girl he loved, and their fight against evil, acid-spewing, exploding birds. The film's writer and director, James Nguyen, had made a movie that encompassed his love of Alfred Hitchcock, the environment, and driving...lots and lots of driving. Really, what more did he have to say?

Well, after Birdemic gained a massive cult following, he had a lot more he wanted to say, as it turns out. He wanted to talk about his feelings toward Hollywood, and the things he had gone through to make the first movie. He wanted to have a further serious discussion about the environment. And, more than anything else, we think, he wanted to try catching lightning in a bottle a second time.

And so, the guys found themselves sitting down once again to view the sequel, Birdemic 2: The Resurrection.

This sequel brings back Alan Bagh and the lovely Whitney Moore, the stars of the original, as Rod and Nathalie. Not to mention Rick Camp as Dr. Jones, Stephen Gustavson as the tree-hugger, and Coleon Osborne as Tony (the little boy Rod and Nathalie rescued in the first movie), and Patsy van Ettinger as Nancy, Nathalie's mom. As a bonus, singer Damien Carter returns for a follow-up to his smash hit, "Hangin' Out with the Family"!

Rounding out the cast are Thomas Favaloro as Bill, Chelsea Turnbo as Gloria, and Brittany N. Pierce as Jessica.

Join us...
Bill is a filmmaker, and, much like a certain Hitchcock-obsessed, Vietnamese director we all know, he is trying to get a movie made. So he contacts his friends, Rod and Nathalie, to talk to them about trying to find the $1 million he needs to make it happen.

At the restaurant, while he's waiting for his friends to show up, he meets the waitress, Gloria, who also happens to be an actress. She's cute, blond, and willing to pretend he is not a completely abhorrent human being, so Bill immediately takes a shine to her, going so far as to offer her the lead in his movie, Sunset Dreams without so much as an audition. She's totally into the idea, despite the fact that Bill looks exactly like the kind of guy who might try to trick women into doing sex stuff on camera for his website.

Unhinge my jaw? Why?
When Rod and Nathalie arrive, Bill pitches his movie, and Rod immediately writes a check for $100,000 to secure the rights to the script. He also offers to set up a meeting to see about getting the rest of the funding. All he wants in return is a part for Nathalie in the film. Bill is agreeable.

At the meeting, which may or may not include Rod's old boss from NCT Software (it is never made clear), there are a few issues brought up ("Where are the tits?"), but after some of Rod's smooth talking, the investors agree to hand over the money to get Bill's movie made. An awkward series of hugs and excessive clapping ensue.

Am I doing it right, humans? I am one of you!
To celebrate, Bill asks Gloria out on a double date with Rod and Nathalie. They visit a museum, where Tony reveals that, due to Rod's ineptitude in the first movie, his sister was now dead. But everybody is having a good time, so it's okay. They also run into Dr. Jones, who warned them about the bird flu in the first movie. He gives lectures now, but is still kind of a downer. He tells them a story, in the form of a flashback, about cave people being attacked by birds while they are having sex. It's really uncomfortable for everybody.

Later, while the four of them are walking on the beach (they've ditched Tony at this point), the come across a woman who is attacked by a giant jumbo jellyfish! "A giant jumbo jellyfish?" we hear you asking? Yes, a giant jumbo jellyfish! They call an ambulance, and the scene ends without contributing anything at all toward moving the plot along.

But then...things start to happen...

Initially, it's just your average blood rain that resurrects prehistoric birds and cave people that had been lost in the tar pits. You're gonna get that with your blood rain.

Yup. And you might get the occasional zombie outbreak, as well.
When the birds attack (finally!) during the first day of shooting, the four take charge, also bringing in a few hangers-on to use as human shields. They grab some guns and start shooting everything with wings. And, in Nathalie's case, one actress who got in the way. They run around the studio lot, shooting birds and trying to rescue people, but the only one they manage to save is Jessica, who was trapped in a cabin on an Old West set.

The group escapes from the attack and piles into an RV so they can get somewhere safe. Along the way, Bill stops to check on some people who may be dead and gets at least one of the group killed. Then he takes a shortcut through a cemetery, where they come across the zombies we mentioned in the caption above. The zombies attack, and they kill Jessica, the one person this group of idiots managed to rescue from the studio. Good job.

But they seemed so organized!
Having had enough of Bill's poor decision, Rod steps up and makes a poor decision of his own. He stops the RV to check on a couple of people they see walking along the street. It turns out that these people are the cave people that were resurrected from the tar pits, and they have no time for Rod and Bill's bullshit, so they attack, kicking the shit out of the two of them until Nathalie and Gloria come to the rescue.

Will Rod and Bill continue to put themselves and their friends in danger? Will Nathalie step up and finally take control from these two dim-witted chunkheads? Will they see any of their old friends? Will this goddamn movie ever end?

You'll have to tune in to see!

Derek picked this movie, and he absolutely loves Whitney Moore's complete lack of fucks to give concerning Rod's safety and incompetence. At one point, after his beating by a cave woman, she tells him, "Get up. You're fine." It felt real.

Larry is conflicted. He liked making fun of it, but felt he was still getting the short end of the stick by having to actually look at the images on the screen. He compensates by focusing on Whitney Moore's "I know what I'm doing" attitude. She's really neat.

Jake wishes he'd stayed on vacation for another week, although he does admit that director James Nguyen managed to throw in enough twists and turns this time around to keep the viewer wondering just what the heck was going to happen next.

So get your coat hangers and endless ammunition clips, and listen to this week's episode!