Young Guns II

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Once again, the guys had to put off Sharknado 5 (Egad...Who knew we would get that far?) because one of them wasn't able to make it to the recording. So, because Larry had to work, Derek and Jake sat down to watch the follow-up to 1988's Young Guns.

Yoohoo...I'm make you appreciate my brother more...

Young Guns II: Electric Boogaloo takes up a year after the events of the first film. It begins in the late 1940s, with an elderly man called "Brushy Bill" Roberts (Emilio Estevez) meeting with lawyer Charles Phalen (Bradley Whitford) out in the desert of New Mexico, where he reveals to the lawyer that he is actually Billy the Kid. Phalen, naturally, is dubious, knowing that the Kid was supposedly killed by Pat Garrett back in 1881, so he asks what proof the man has, which begins our story...

A year after the Lincoln County War which led to Billy the Kid and his fellow Regulators becoming wanted men, Billy is still out there running around, being an asshole, and hanging out with Pat Garrett (William Peterson) and "Arkansas" Dave Rudabaugh (Christian Slater), shooting people, and rustling cattle.

Guuuurrrrrrrllll!

When word gets back to Billy that Governor Lew Wallace (Scott Wilson) wants to meet with him to discuss a pardon in exchange for Billy's testimony against the Murphy-Dolan men whom he fought against in the Lincoln County War, Billy begins to think it over because it is getting less and less safe for him to stick around Fort Sumner, where even some of the townspeople have tried turning on him, not to mention constant searches from the army.

He meets with Wallace, who agrees to Billy's terms, and then takes him into protective custody before the trial. District Attorney Rynerson (R.D. Call), however, has a different plan and, being the one who chooses who will testify and who won't, tells Billy he won't be allowed on the bench, and wil therefore be hanged for his crimes.

Naturally upset, Billy escapes and heads back to Fort Sumner.

In New York, former Regulator "Doc" Scurlock (Kiefer Sutherland) is now a teacher who is trying to forget about all the things that happened. Unfortunately, he is not given much time, as a group of sheriff's deputies come and collect him to bring back to Lincoln.

When he gets there, he is thrown into a pit and attacked by a bunch of Murphy men who have also been arrested, only to be saved by his old friend, Jose Chavez y Chavez (Lou Diamond Phillips), who comforts Doc with stories about how quickly he will die when he is hanged, and then the Spirit Horse will come for him. What a pal!

However, before they can be hanged, a lynch mob shows up and takes them, only to reveal themselves as Billy, Pat, Dave, and a few friends. When the real lynch mob shows up, the guys get out of town and head back to the fort so they can gather more men and head down to Mexico on the Mexican Blackbird, a broken trail leading there. Doc doesn't want to go, but Billy--and a number of lynch mob guys who followed them--convince him that maybe he ought to give it a try.

Dave, for his part, acts like a dildo, thus filling in for the late "Dirtface"
from the first film.

When only one man--Hendry William French (Alan Ruck)--shows up to join the gang, Billy also enlists a young homeless boy named Tom O'Folliard (Balthazar Getty) to round out the group with a sympathetic character that can be killed-off when the movie starts to make Billy look like the dickweed he is.

More bad news comes when Pat announces that he isn't going with them this time, choosing instead to stay at Fort Sumner and open a restaurant. Billy tries to convince him that coming with the gang is the smart thing, but Pat is having no part of it. The gang heads out to see about getting some money for their trip.

They end up on the ranch of John Chisum (James Coburn), John Tunstall's partner before the Lincoln County War. Chisum, not especially happy to see Billy, basically tells them to get bent when he is told by Billy that he owes them $500 for the fighting they did, as well as for not stealing his cattle. When Chisum continues to refuse, Billy says he will kill one of Chisum's men for every five dollars he "owes" them, and then immediately has two of Chisum's men killed.

After the confrontation with Chisum, Billy and his men decide to steal a bunch of Chisum's cattle and sell them, thus gaining the money they felt they were owed.

Meanwhile, Garrett, now an "honest" man, is contacted by Chisum, Wallace and Ryerson, who offer him the position of Lincoln County Sheriff, a $500 reward, and more money when he brings back Billy, dead or alive. Pat buys some new clothes and gathers his posse together, including Poe (Viggo Mortensen) and a writer named Upson (Jack Kehoe), whom Pat has hired to document his search for Billy.

Poe, like Dave, is also a dildo, but not as fun.

The rest of the movie is basically the hunt for Billy. Tom is killed by Garrett (remember what we said earlier about him?), and the rest of the gang end up hiding behind a couple of rock walls, where Billy finally admits to the rest of the gang that the Mexican Blackbird is not a trail to Mexico, and he had no intention of going there because he would just be another nameless man in Mexico. Doc, reasonably upset, decides he's had enough and walks out. This turns out to be a bad idea.

Chavez! Chavez, they shot my Fruit Gushers and I bit my lip!

The place is surrounded by Garrett and his men, who have exactly zero interest in letting this fight go on any longer.

Doc, already certain to die, runs out with guns drawn to distract Garrett's men while the others escape. It's not a clean escape, as Chavez gets shot, and Billy is captured. Again. But this time, he goes on trial and is sentenced to be hanged.

Will Billy escape again? Will Chavez survive? Will Garrett's mustache regrow and overtake his entire face, making him look like Jojo, the Dog-faced Boy?

Will Brushy Bill ever look and sound like he's not pooping himself when he talks?

 You'll have to tune in to find out!

Jake is a big fan of this movie. He loves the soundtrack, too. And very specific lines from the film. He's also a huge Joss Whedon fan. Like, really huge. If he loves Joss Whedon so much, he oughta just marry him. Jeez.

Derek is also a big fan of the film. It mixes a nice blend of comedy and drama, as well as a nice visual look. He digs Joss Whedon, too, and is willing to finally admit that Firefly was a pretty good show, and what Joss has done with Marvel is great. But not like Jake. Seriously, dude...get a room...

Anyway, saddle up your horse, grab your Peacemaker, and listen to this week's episode!