August 8, 2017

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hi, everybody!

Welp, another week, another...er...seven days. I'll be honest; I almost didn't even bother with a list this week because there are just so many stories to write about. But I chose to forge ahead, because, if nothing else, I get to share some funny tweets from the great folks I follow on Twitter. And really, that's what this is all about.

Still, there's stuff happening, and I need to talk about it. I also want to reuse some of the Gary Busey and Nicolas Cage GIFs I've got laying around.

Let the healing begin.
As I mentioned last week, Anthony "Mooch" Scaramucci is out as Angry Orange's communications director. Turns out that calling reporters and going off on obscenity-filled tirades about your coworkers tends to turn off your boss--even the angry rotting pumpkin that currently squats in the White House. (He prefers to do that sort of thing himself.)


A lot of folks are speculating that the addition of General John Kelly--the new Chief of Staff brought in after Reince Priebus was given the boot--is what brought about Mooch's removal. I have my own theory, as do others.


One can only guess how the rest of the White House staff was reacting.


Yeah...That's...that's probably true.

Or like this. We just...don't...know!
Meanwhile, Angry Orange is considering Mooch's replacement, and the current frontrunner appears to be Forrest Gump simulacrum Stephen Miller. Nobody seems impressed.


Personally, I'll stick with the Gump references. Go ahead and look at him and picture him saying, "Why don't you love me, Jen-nay?"

Run, Forrest! Run!
Transcripts of phone calls Angry Orange made to Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto and Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull were leaked last week, and neither of those ended up making him look good.

With Nieto, Angry Orange spent most of the call badgering him about saying that Mexico would not pay for the wall he wants to build along the border. And while Nieto kept insisting that, since Mexico had exactly zero intention of paying a single penny for it, Angry Orange kept demanding that Nieto had to stop saying that publicly because it was making him look bad.

Former Mexican President Vicente Fox has supported Nieto's stance very...enthusiastically.


The call with PM Turnbull didn't go much better when Angry Orange started complaining about a bunch of immigrants that former President Obama had agreed to take here, provided they pass vetting--a point that Angry Orange did not seem able to comprehend. He also kept referring to them as "prisoners", which they were not. Basically, he didn't want to do anything that President Obama had agreed to. And when Turnbull tried calmly explaining things to him, Angry Orange basically hung up on him. Dick.

You can't say that, Enrique! I've been saying you will pay for the wall!
In a further blow to Angry Orange's ego and ongoing attempt to make everybody believe that all of this is completely normal, it has been announced that at least two grand juries have been convened to look into Russian meddling in the 2016 election, as well as money-laundering done through his organization. The media reported as they saw fit.


Next week on Fox News, someone will just jingle their keys in front of the camera, much to the wonder and amusement of their viewers.

They're SO SHINY!
And, finally, douchebag "pharma Bro" Martin Shkreli got some bad news.


Comedian Patton Oswalt, who verbally bitch-slapped him a few months back when Shkreli started bad-mouthing both Oswalt and Stephen Colbert, responded, wishing him the best of luck in his soon-to-be new digs.


 I assume that this will be what Fox talks about when the grand juries hand down Angry Orange's indictments later this month.

And now, to Sean Hannity, who will tell you why everything is completely fine...
And then there were tweets. So many tweets. Let's get right to 'em! In no particular order...


And there you have it! Now get out there and have a great week! And to help that along, here's a helpful bit of advice from Garfunkel and Oates!


All the best,
Derek and Bosco