Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

It was another fun week over on Twitter! Loads of funny, lots of jackassery, and mountains of mirth. And I, your humble curator, have managed to snag a few for your perusal. Oh, sure, there may be funnier ones, but you'll have to find those yourself, because these guys made me laugh out loud when I read them. And they do it regularly. They're like freakin' ninjas!

Anyway, here's another wonderful pile of silliness to cram into your eyeballs. And, as I really don't have anything important to add--other than to mention that in this week's episode of Here Be Spoilers, we tackle 1974's Black Christmas--I'm thinking we should just jump right in!

So, in no particular order...

Ever sat so long on the toilet that your feet get all tingly and they've fallen asleep and you've drawn dicks all over them?

— Terry F (@daemonic3) October 24, 2013

#TruthfulTuesday:I was like, six when I first saw Lethal Weapon, so every time I hear Jingle Bell Rock, I associate it with dead hookers. :(

— Dave (@VodkaShorebird) December 2, 2014

Welcome to America where the Earth is 6,000 years old and we buy car insurance from cartoon characters. Here's your bible and some Cheetos.

— James (@JaySaysStuff) December 4, 2014

Just saw that Cosby's current standup tour name is "Far From Finished," which now seems more like a threat.

— Miles Kahn (@mileskahn) December 4, 2014

Best Nativity scene yet: pic.twitter.com/lrSlMAvdVv

— chickulture (@chickulture) December 2, 2014

Last night's dream: Christopher Walken came to my house dressed as Santa Claus. We ate some donut holes and he left. Great dream, really.

— Joseph Scrimshaw (@JosephScrimshaw) December 5, 2014

"If you ever have questions about sex, I'm here" Got it Mom "Any at all" Ok "Oral, vaginal…" Mom- "Anal, fisting, choking-" MOM- "Rusty trom

— dan mentos (@DanMentos) December 5, 2014

Just going to start answering people by letting gravy fall out of my mouth.

— Angie Davis (@Adar79Angie) December 4, 2014

What are you naming your daughter? "Turpentine." You can't name her that! That's a stripper name!

— Ray (Sir E) (@SirEviscerate) December 6, 2014

Looking at you, Jesus. pic.twitter.com/yDubAPu8Zw

— Jingle Yael (@elle91) November 30, 2014

And there you have it! Good stuff, yes?

So, with that bit of business over, let me direct you to this hilarious little clip that Larry hipped me to, so you can start off your work week with a laugh: The Walken Dead...

All the best!
Derek and Bosco