Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hiya, folks! It's been another hilarious week over on the Twitter machine, and, as always, I have spent tens of minutes going through all the great tweets I've seen in the last week in order to bring you, faithful reader, a big pile of some of the funniest ones.

Before I get started with the funny, though, I wanted to let you all know that, due to scheduling issues on my end of things, I wasn't able to record the podcast for Elves with Jake and Larry this weekend. However, I still want to do that show with them, so, if we stick with the #HolidayMoviepalooza list, I think we'll maybe have to do that one after Christmas to catch up, if that's cool with them.

At any rate, that covers the housekeeping for the week, so let's get making with the funny, shall we?

In no particular order...

You know how you put your playlist on shuffle but the same songs keep coming up. I do the same thing except with poor life decisions.

— Jay (@theshamingofjay) December 8, 2014

I once tried on an Under Armour® polo shirt and a Bluetooth earpiece sprouted on me and now I can't stop calling people chief.

— The Cat Whisperer (@man_spach) October 14, 2014

The year is 2026. The iPhone18 is the size of a dump truck. Everything is automatically sepia toned. Air is pumpkin spice flavored.

— The Alicianater (@leechee420) September 27, 2014

If you rely only on spellcheck to point out mistakes in your marketing campaigns, you're gonna have a bad time. pic.twitter.com/UbD68zLJ8F

— Noah Kinsey (@thenoahkinsey) December 9, 2014

I'd like to applaud Lindsay Lohan's twin from "The Parent Trap" for staying out of the tabloids all these years.

— Keating Thomas (@keatingthomas) December 9, 2014

My school always awarded dictionaries to the spelling bee winners. Which was weird because it should actually be awarded to the losers.

— Random Manik (@RandomManik) August 21, 2014

Warning don't stick ur nipples over the jets of the hot tub. pic.twitter.com/rPvaB81oFT

— J O N O (@JONOCOYOTE) September 21, 2014

Catholic school has a "Headmistress" and puts girls in skirts & knee-high socks. Catholic Church is opposed to porn. I'm calling bullshit.

— Qwerty Jones (@QwertyJones3) December 9, 2014

Let's take a second to talk about which animal would've been a tampon on The Flinstones.

— Matt Fernandez (@FattMernandez) December 12, 2014

Remember how the floor was lava? Lol, we were so young 4600 million years ago.

— Tate (@darkmatter_wimp) December 12, 2014

And there you have it! I hope you all have a fantastic week! And to kick it off, have a look at yet another funny clip from one of my personal favorite podcasts, Wits This one features Charlie Brown (host John Moe) and his little sister Lucy (actress Ione Skye) helping Linus (comedian Patton Oswalt) quit his blanket cold turkey!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco