Meanwhile, over on the Twitter machine, people were incredibly funny, and God bless 'em! And naturally, as this past weekend happened to contain Father's Day, there was an underlying theme to a lot of it.
"Hi, Disappointed! I'm Dad!"
So, without further ado (or at least as little ado as possible), let's look at some non-Dad funny from the people who are way funnier than I am! In no particular order...
If you have an 80's movie on in the background you can just look over when the saxophone music plays because there will be tits.— Chad Opitz (@chadopitz) June 14, 2015
do zombies poop, and does having poop filled pants slow them down?— Cap'n G'nap (@capgnap) June 16, 2015
Pulled a 12 inch piece of string out of my dog's ass this morning. Worst. Magic. Trick. Ever.— Tony (@Tmoney68) June 7, 2015
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.— Sam Delanche (@SamDelanche) May 29, 2015
As I'm one of Britain's leading ornithologists, here's a guide to some birds you might see in your garden this summer pic.twitter.com/SFQ5U0xRM7— joe heenan (@joeheenan) June 8, 2015
Monkey: "We're not so different" Me: "Did that monkey just talk to me" Monkey: "Monkey noise" Me: "Did it just say 'monkey noise'?"— Hooglese (@DillDoes) July 28, 2014
I hate when I get my man-boobs stuck in my accordion.— AmishPornStar (@AmishPornStar1) June 14, 2015
John Elway looks like the type a' dude who stares too long at a 13 year old in a bikini— Trillenium Falcon (@czechtwice) June 20, 2015
Every Scooby Doo episode would literally be 2 minutes long if the gang went to the mask store 1st & asked a few questions.— Erica (@SCbchbum) March 21, 2015
Top 3 reasons monkeys might go extinct: 3) climate change 2) habitat loss 1) jumping on the bed— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 18, 2015
And there you have it! And now, let me once again push somebody else's podcast on you. This is one of my favorite episodes of Beyond Belief, from the fine folks over at The Thrilling Adventure Hour. It stars Paul F. Tompkins and Paget Brewster as Frank and Sadie Doyle, respectively. They are alcoholic socialites who also happen to be able to commune with spirits of the non-bottled kind, as well. Give it a listen. You'll thank me. It's all audio, but totally worth it.
All the best,
Derek and Bosco