June 18, 2015

Wes Craven's Shocker

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We have got to quit letting Jake pick movies...

This week, the guys take a look at a lost Wes Craven ""classic" starring a pre-X-Files Mitch Pileggi as Horace Pinker, a serial killer who also repairs televisions and knows some sort of weird voodoo. Kind of a jack-of-all-trades, really.

"I pray to the mighty god of Comcast!"
But when he murders most of the family of our "hero", Johnny, a possibly autistic or mentally-challenged football player with the emotional range of a piece of toast, with whom he has a mental connection, he is caught, tried, convicted, and executed. Mostly.

Before Pinker can be completely executed, however, he managed to possess a variety of people and use their bodies to try killing Johnny, but to no avail. Instead, he settles for killing all of Johnny's friends, because if nothing else, Pinker is adaptable. Also, as noted, the voodoo thing.

"I LIKE MITTENS!"
Many people are killed, Johnny chases Pinker through a variety of television shows, and Johnny's girlfriend uses Ghostbusters-level magic to fight the evil that is Assistant Director Skinner...Er, Pinker. All the while, Johnny maintains his mild disinterest in the things going on around him.

This is actually an animated .gif of Johnny's vast range of emotions.
Jake is bothered by the fact that, in this magic-based horror movie about a guy who can manipulate electricity(?), when Pinker switches bodies, he still manages to maintain the limp he got from being shot in the knee in his own body many years before. This should not be a thing.

Larry is continually disturbed by Johnny's apparent lack of...well, anything, really, concerning the deaths of his family and friends. Seriously, the guy is less emotive that a sea cucumber. (Johnny...Not Larry. Larry can emote like nobody's business.)

Derek just wants this whole movie to go right to hell, is all. He hated it. Every stupid frame. But he was really upset that, when Pinker possesses a little girl, Johnny doesn't beat her mercilessly, possibly in a scene similar to Jason beating the holographic campers in Jason X.

There's also fun stuff in The Lobby, Larry's List, One Thing, Hollywood Purgatory, and the return of the Game Show! So tune in, turn on, and listen to the guys talk about this movie, so you don't have to ever watch it. You're welcome.