Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hi, everybody!

Before I get started on the list, I just wanted to let everyone know about a small change to the Here Be Spoilers coming up after the next one. (The next one, however, is still going to be Weird Al Yankovic's magnum opus, UHF, assuming we can all get our schedules synched-up this week.)

On the previous show, we discussed watching the SyFy movie Lavalantula, starring Steve Guttenberg and Michael Winslow. Unfortunately, I have been unable to find a copy for us to watch. Nobody I know saved it on their DVR, and Amazon doesn't offer it for sale as a download. So, it looks like we may have to skip it. Sorry to the ten or twelve of you who were looking forward to it.

Although, really, I'm sure we'd all rather watch this!

Anyway, enough of that business. On with the silliness!

It's been another great week of Twitter-y goodness, so let's just get right to it, shall we? And, as always, if you dig what you read, by all means, go over to Twitter, join, and follow the heck out of these fine folks. Find even more. Be overwhelmed by the awesomeness of the Twittersphere. And, if you are feeling like giving me (@TheRealDCF) a sympathy follow, I'm not too proud to accept it.

Anyway, in no particular order...

I was put on this Earth for 2 things. Tweets, and squirting shame gravy into your mom's sweet velvet lined sausage wallet.

— H. P. Fuckcraft (@gonzohostility) July 18, 2015

i'm going to freeze time today and run around and put my finger in everyone's mouths, so I'm just being upfront with you

— Rob Huebel (@robhuebel) July 28, 2015

I try to get all my tattoos in easily covered places so no one sees them until the very moment they're forced to regret having sex with me.

— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) July 30, 2015

me folding laundry: ugh another sock is missing puppet on my hand: how does that keep happening

— ⒻⓇⓄ ⓋⓄ (@fro_vo) May 30, 2015

Impressive that Tom Brady had 10,000 texts in his phone. Pretty rare to see a 14-year-old girl playing quarterback in the NFL.

— side-eye spice (@goldengateblond) July 29, 2015

I just ate 100 chocolate kisses and sneezed.......now all my coworkers have diabetes

— EnvyDaTropic (@envydatropic) January 21, 2015

Parents w/ 1st Baby: "Aww he's starting to walk! C'mon buddy, u can do it!" Parents w/ Baby #4: "SHIT, HE'S STANDING! QUICK, SWEEP THE LEG!"

— Babies Daddy (@dshack8) April 3, 2013

Fill sex dolls with helium and release into the sky while throwing clothes out the window to convince neighbours the Rapture has begun.

— Roar Rude Trangbæk (@sickeningjar) July 31, 2015

*Aunt Jemima at the OBGYN The bad news is you've got a discharge. The good news is that it's much better on waffles than the leading brand.

— Brian (@Black__Elvis) July 23, 2015

OLD SOCK PUPPET BEING MASTURBATED INTO BY HOBO: It could be worse. Jeff Dunham could be making me tell racist jokes.

— Ray (@SirEviscerate) July 26, 2015

And there you have it! So get out there and have yourself an awesome week, will ya? In fact, let's start it off with a tribute to this week's Here Be Spoilers episode, and watch Weird Al sing one of the songs from UHF, won't we?

All the best,
Derek and Bosco