August 31, 2015

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

HI! I'M GARY BUSEY FOR UGLYCOUCHCAST DOT COM OR SOMETHING! I DUNNO WHAT THAT IS, BUT THE CHECK CLEARED SO HERE I AM!

DRINK IT IN, BABY!
SO ANYWAY, THIS FELLA COMES TO ME AND SAYS, "HEY, GARY BUSEY," CUZ THAT'S MY NAME, YA KNOW; I'M GARY BUSEY...HE SAYS, "HEY, GARY BUSEY, WILL YOU TELL THESE PEOPLE ABOUT SOME TWEAKS?" AND I'M LIKE, "TWEAKS? I KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT THAT!" AND HE SAYS, "NO, NO, NO, GARY BUSEY..." BECAUSE THAT'S ME -- GARY BUSEY. HE'S ALL LIKE, "NO, I SAID TWEETS," AND I DUNNO WHAT THE HELL THAT MEANS, BUT THE INVISIBLE ROBOTS WHO CONTROL MY BRAIN TOLD ME THAT THIS FELLA KNOWS, SO IT'S ALL GOOD, AND I SAY I'LL DO IT.

UH-OH...HANG ON...SOMETHIN'S HAPPENING...

Uh...Gary? Gary, you okay, buddy? Gary...?
Ooooookay...It looks like Gary has become indisposed at the moment, so I'll just take over from here.

It's been a pretty good week here, and on Twitter, where the crazy was in full force. Among other things, Miley Cyrus hosted the VMAs (which I avoided like the plague because MTV has not had anything to do with music or music videos in years, and even when they did, most of them were terrible), although I hear Kanye West announced he was running for president in 2020. And, for those who found that too high-minded and intellectual, Sarah Palin interviewed Donald Trump.

HEY, MAN! WHADDAYA THINK YOU'RE DOIN'?

Oh, hey, Gary. I was just telling people about what happened over on Twitter last we-

BACK OFF, FELLA. I GOT THIS. THIS AIN'T SHAKESPEARE WE'RE TALKIN' ABOUT. OH...HOLD ON...IT'S HAPPENIN' AGAIN...

Yeah, you just relax, Gary. I got this. Gary...?
Huh.

Anyway, there were funny tweets galore over there, so let's take a look at some, shall we? In no particular order...


And there you have it! Pretty cool, yes? So now, get out there and have a good week. And to start it off...

HEY, MAN! I GOT THIS! BACK OFF!

But-

I SAID BACK OFF. AND THE REST OF YOU: GO LOOK AT THIS HERE VIDEO, OR I'M GONNA EAT ALL YOUR HAIR!


Y'ALL GET OUT OF HERE NOW! I WANNA STARE AT A SQUIRREL! TELL 'EM GOODBYE, MAN!

Please don't leave...He's going to hurt me.

I NEVER TOLD YOU TO SAY THAT!

Gah! Quit poking me! Good-bye, everyone! And if you don't hear from me, it's because Gary Busey did something horrible to me!

NO I DIDN'T! GET OVER HERE!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco
AND GARY BUSEY, YA SUMBITCH!
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August 26, 2015

Space Mutiny

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Hey, everybody! Guess what! This past Sunday was Larry's birthday! And to celebrate, he sat down with Derek and Jake to watch a movie on par with Steel Dawn in its confusing and pointless plot. But this time, it was in space! With special effects by Industrial Lights and Magic (for an entirely different, and much better, project)!

Yes, they watched the ludicrously bad Space Mutiny, which featured the guy who played Steve Rogers in the 1979 made-for-TV movie version of Captain America!

I WANNA PUNCH ME SOME NAZIS! IN SPACE!
He plays David Ryder, a thick wad of gristle in shiny Zubaz, who is bringing some doctor (we never find out who that is) to the Southern Sun, a ship that looks incredibly similar to the Battlestar Galactica, when he crashes his ship and kills the doctor immediately upon arriving. He barely makes up for it by rescuing the Southern Sun's captain's elderly daughter, Lea, as she attempt to run into the wreckage and save the doctor. She finds this to be incredibly arousing and attempts to seduce Ryder by waggling her shrink-wrapped lady bits at him through a hula hoop.

Lemme just put in my Nuva ring...
As this goes on, an evil guy with a big forehead is trying to spur a mutiny on the Southern Sun, and displace Captain Santa Claus so they can land the ship and set foot on an actual planet. (It turns out that the Southern Sun has just been knockin' around in space for about thirteen generations or so.)

Ho! Ho! Ho! I have no idea where I'm going without my team of elf cartographers!
The evil guy, Kalgan, first begins the mutiny by blowing up part of the sewage treatment plant that takes up most of the ship's basement, from the look of it (thirteen generations of poopin'...that's gonna take some time to process properly), and when that completely fails to give him control, he spends most of the rest of the film staring at screens intensely, laughing, threatening Captain Santa's grandma-daughter with laser dentistry, and trying to smile without looking like it hurts.

It does not go well.
Along the way, there are Mexican wrestlers killing people, those same people inexplicably resurrected without explanation, pirate attacks, and Stevie Nicks impersonators dancing around plasma globes from Spencer's Gifts.

Just like a white winged dove...
Nobody has any idea what is going on.

Larry is very, very sorry that he didn't choose to watch the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of this, despite being given the option because it was his birthday.

Jake is extremely concerned about this movies attempts to make the Captain's daughter into some kind of sex symbol. It failed miserably, even with the hula hoop/ass presentation scene.

Derek just wants to know why there's a naked woman on the bridge, and why nobody is questioning her about it.

She's RIGHT THERE! And everybody is acting like it's no big deal!
There's also news in The Lobby, new movies Coming Soon, Larry's List, Hollywood Purgatory with a twist, and another quick round of Cards Against Humanity.

So tune in and check it out! That way you never, ever have to watch this movie yourself!

If, however, you find yourself so inclined, here it is on YouTube.


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August 24, 2015

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hey, guys! Sorry I'm late with the list today. I was busy doing important research stuff.

Anyway, what a week! Lots of fun and weird stuff happened, including the Foo Fighters "Rick-Rolling" the Westboro Baptist Church. (You know; the "God Hates Fags" assholes who protest at people's funerals because...I dunno...they're shameless media whores...?) Seriously, is there anyone out there who doesn't think Dave Grohl and his fellow band members are goddamn superheroes?

♪♫There goes my here...Watch him as he goes!♫♪
It was also a sad week, because Yvonne Craig, who played Batgirl in the 1966 Batman TV series passed away. I had such a huge crush on her when I was a kid...

But enough sad stuff. Let's get to the funny!

Twitter, as usual, was freakin' hilarious, and, as I am wont to do, I grabbed a few of them to make you laugh, and maybe even convince you to join us over there on the Dark Side. It's good fun! For example...


And there you have it! Did you laugh? You did, didn't you? Then get on over there and join us! Follow these people! Follow other funny ones! If you're desperate for cheap dick jokes, follow me! It's fun!

So get out there and have an awesome week, little buckaroos! And to kick it off, and in honor of the Foo Fighters being awesome and funny, here's one of my favorite videos from them that proves both:


All the best,
Derek and Bosco
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August 19, 2015

Leviathan

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Back in 1989, there was a brief period where horror/suspense movies that took place underwater were kind of a thing. Three of them were released that year -- Deep Star Six, The Abyss, and, of course, Leviathan. Only one of those films made any sort of major impact, and it's a safe bet to assume the one with Buckaroo Banzai, Col. Troutman, the bad guy from Home Alone who wasn't Joe Pesci, Winston Zedmore from Ghostbusters, Axel Foley's art dealer friend, and Mulder's ex-girlfriend was not the one.

And did we mention that one of the cast of Fish Police was in it, too?
This week, the guys sat down to watch this movie and attempt to talk about it.

It did not go well.

Oh, sure, there was a discussion about Peter Weller's complete and utter indifference to his choice of acting roles. Entire sentences were used up trying to determine the physics of Lisa Eilbacher's ability to maintain her balance, despite her dangerously top-heavy frame. There was even a brainstorming session concerning the meaning behind Hector Elizondo's disturbingly toothy palm vagina.

"Love...me..."
There was even some amount of talk about the connection of the character Dejesus to both Raul Julia and John Turturro's character in The Big Lebowski, as well as Danel Stern's Sixpack character's attempts to bed both of the female crew members, despite looking like the kind of guy who would, for a price, allow strangers to do unspeakable things to his mouth behind a Denny's on any given Friday night.

"Hurr hurr hurr...Bewbs..."
But, alas, interest in the movie could not be maintained.

Instead, they spent a large part of the show talking about Terminator: Genisys, if for no other reason than because it wasn't Leviathan.

Yes...This was more appealing than watching Daniel Stern eye-humping his
costars. Let that sink in for a minute.
Jake wants to know why Jai Courtney was chosen to play Kyle Reese in this edition of the Terminator series because he has all the charisma of Peter Weller in Leviathan.

Larry actually paid some attention to this week's movie and noticed certain similarities between it and several better movies, such as Alien, Jaws, Anaconda, and, for some reason, Feivel Goes West.

Derek thought Terminator: Genisys was actually pretty good, with solid special effects, unlike most of the ones in Leviathan, which was not good at all.

There's also news in The Lobby, a couple flicks Coming Soon, Larry's List, Derek's confession about what happened to last week's recording of UHF, and an exciting round of Schmovie! (It's a quick, fun game. Go check it out!)

So download the show now and listen so you don't ever find yourself a situation where you might have to watch this turd-burger!
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August 17, 2015

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Well, it's been another interesting week, gang.

To begin with, the first of an estimated 8,437 debates in the GOP Clown Car Clusterfuck-O-Rama happened. And, as there are something like 613 current candidates vying for the top spot, things were a bit convoluted. So much so, in fact, that this first debate had to actually be split into two separate debates, with only the top ten candidates getting to appear in the prime time debate. And, not especially surprisingly, Donald "You're All Stupid Losers" Trump and his hair ruled the day, despite threatening to run as an independent if he doesn't get treated "fairly". (TRANSLATION: "Only softball questions from MEN, because I don't want top get attacked by Megyn Kelly's vagina-rage.")

"Yo, Jeb!, Imma let you finish, but I just wanna say your brother was the
dumbo dumbest stupid dumb dummy of all time!"
On a much more entertaining note, D23 happened this past week. For those unaware, D23 is Disney's version of ComicCon, but exclusively limited to their own properties, because go to hell, anyone else with anything coming out into the entertainment industry!

This year's big surprise: Walt Disney's reanimated corpse made an appearance,
sporting this snazzy bio-suit that keeps him fresh!
There were announcements about a pile of Pixar sequels, clips from both Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens and Captain America: Civil War, as well as appearances by Harrison Ford, Johnny Depp (in character as Captain Jack Sparrow), J.J. Abrams, and a buttload of other folks, and the usual Con fare: Cosplay, prop displays, and people with questionable hygiene, All-in-all, a pretty good time was had by all.

But here, on the interwebs, there were loads of funny happening over on Twitter, and I grabbed some of it to convince you that you should totally go over there and follow these funny folks. (And any others you happen to be amused by!) So let's have a look, won't we?

In no particular order...


And there you have it! Pretty groovy, no? If nothing else, it's a great way to start your week. And to add even more awesome sauce to your Monday, here's another fun clip from the recently cancelled Wits. (It really was a great show, and I'm gonna miss it.) It features Kristen Schaal as Darth Vader!


All the best,
Derek and Bosco
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August 12, 2015

Game Night II: Oh, The (Cards Against) Humanity!

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 Okay...The plan was for the guys to watch Weird Al Yankovic's film, UHF. And they did. Really. Then they recorded a show about it.

Then...tragedy struck.

Okay, not so much. Basically, what happened was this: Derek is a butterfingers, and he accidentally unplugged the recorder halfway through the show. The guys hoped they would be able to salvage the recording (this had happened before, and things turned out fine), but it was not to be. It turns out that trusting Derek to handle the technical aspects of the show were maybe not the best idea.

Seriously, would you trust a chunkhead like this with important button-pushing stuff?
Anyway, with a lost podcast, the one remaining option (not having a show this week wasn't an option) was to dig out another recording of the guys playing Cards Against Humanity! And, man-oh-man, was it a good game!

Over two hours of weird, obscene, and downright offensive gameplay is there to make your ears burn. So enjoy it!

This is one of the least offensive ones.
Larry tries to justify an answer concerning Nazi atrocities by pointing out that he is, in fact, Polish, and that makes it all okay.

Jake is the Card Czar, and, as such, spends a lot of time giggling like a school girl as he reads the cards to himself before letting everyone else in on the joke.

Derek multitasks like a boss, not only offering up the funniest answers he can, but also digging up audio clips on the fly. It's...majestic, really.

Anyway, give it a listen and enjoy! And tune in next week, when the guys record again, and Derek won't be allowed to touch any buttons!
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August 10, 2015

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Okay, you know what? I'm sad. Why am I sad, you ask (or didn't...I'm flexible)? Because my comedy stuff is slowly dying out. Let's have a look, shall we?

First off, there's the Thrilling Adventure Hour. If you haven't listened to it, I highly recommend you do. It's a podcast done in the style of old-time radio, recorded live. They finished doing their monthly shows at Largo in Los Angeles, and are about to finish up their weekly podcasts, which sucks because I only recently started getting into show late last year.

And these are just a few of the regular cast! The guest stars are just as awesome!
And then, of course, there was Jon Stewart's announcement that, after thirteen years, he was retiring from The Daily Show. I realize that sometimes a guy's got to move on and see what else the world has to offer, but I don't think I'm alone in feeling that, no matter how good the new guy is, it's still going to be missing the subtlety that Stewart managed to bring to the show.

See? You'd never know he was talking about playing Magic: The Gathering.
And, finally, probably the one that bums me out the most (not to take anything away from the other two, because they are, themselves, great): Minnesota Public Radio has decided to cancel the awesomely funny Wits radio show, hosted by John Moe, and featuring the music of John Munson and the Witnesses. I loved that show. Aside from being incredibly funny, it also introduced me to a lot of really great music that I probably would not have heard otherwise. (F'rinstance, check out Aimee Mann and Ted Leo's band The Both. Great songs.)

Shown: Most of the Wits cast, with a few of their guests (Dave Hill, Sara Watkins, and Chris Kluwe).
Not shown: Aimee Mann and Ted Leo playing great songs as The Both, but it totally happened.

So, if anyone out there can recommend good listening/viewing similar to any of these three shows, by all means, let me know!

Fortunately, I still have the awesome folks at Twitter making me laugh, so it's not a total wash. In fact, let me show you a bunch of their tweets! In no particular order...


And there you have it! Not too shabby, if you ask me. (And I think it's safe to assume that, since you came here to read this, it is implied that you did ask me, so...)

Anyway, have an awesome week. And to set you on your way, here is one of my favorite Thrilling Adventure Hour episodes: Sparks Nevada, Marshal on Mars: The Agony of the Feet.


All the best,
Derek and Bosco
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August 2, 2015

Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hi, everybody!

Before I get started on the list, I just wanted to let everyone know about a small change to the Here Be Spoilers coming up after the next one. (The next one, however, is still going to be Weird Al Yankovic's magnum opus, UHF, assuming we can all get our schedules synched-up this week.)

On the previous show, we discussed watching the SyFy movie Lavalantula, starring Steve Guttenberg and Michael Winslow. Unfortunately, I have been unable to find a copy for us to watch. Nobody I know saved it on their DVR, and Amazon doesn't offer it for sale as a download. So, it looks like we may have to skip it. Sorry to the ten or twelve of you who were looking forward to it.

Although, really, I'm sure we'd all rather watch this!
Anyway, enough of that business. On with the silliness!

It's been another great week of Twitter-y goodness, so let's just get right to it, shall we? And, as always, if you dig what you read, by all means, go over to Twitter, join, and follow the heck out of these fine folks. Find even more. Be overwhelmed by the awesomeness of the Twittersphere. And, if you are feeling like giving me (@TheRealDCF) a sympathy follow, I'm not too proud to accept it.

Anyway, in no particular order...


And there you have it! So get out there and have yourself an awesome week, will ya? In fact, let's start it off with a tribute to this week's Here Be Spoilers episode, and watch Weird Al sing one of the songs from UHF, won't we?


All the best,
Derek and Bosco
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