Hello! And welcome to the Here Be Spoilers Multi-Movie Marathon! All through March, the guys will be watching movies Series, including the Tim Burton/Joel Schumacher Batman movies, the Indiana Jones movies, and the Harry Potter films -- some with guests! And a warning: These ones will likely go longer than normal, so be prepared. (This week's is about three-and-a-half hours because there were so many movies!)
This week, however, the guys chose to kick off the month with the ongoing Star Wars series, going by the films' chronological order. And what a Herculean task it was!
(Since you wouldn't be listening to this if you didn't know what these movies are about, we'll spare you individual descriptions.)
Starting with The Phantom Menace, the guys attack without hesitation. The cheesy slapstick comedy, Jake Lloyd, the podracing (although Derek insists they weren't that bad), and, most importantly, the incredibly racist stereotypes that were given to many of the character.
|Let's just say that these guys would most likely not vote Republican.|
It wasn't all bad stuff, though; As noted, Derek mostly liked the podracing, Jake thought Ewan MacGregor was the perfect choice to play young Obi-Wan, and Larry liked it when the guys stopped talking about this one.
|If you don't believe they're the same guy, go away now. We have nothing for you.|
There's also the beginning of Anakin's descent toward the Dark Side of the force.
|Follow along with this handy chart!|
And he did! With Revenge of the Sith, we see Anakin not just walking, but straight-up running down the path to the Dark Side, and Christensen has some flashes of brilliance in this one, especially when Anakin and Obi-Wan fight in the third act. Also, Artoo-Detoo begins establishing himself as the most murdery droid in the galaxy.
|One is an effeminate butler that doesn't understand irony.|
The other is a hate-filled murderbot. Can they get along?
Also by this point, Artoo has firmly set himself and a blissfully unaware Threepio on a road that will leave a trail of burned and destroyed droid bodies across the galaxy.
Nobody can bring themselves to mention the most beloved character of the entire series: Jek Porkins.
|We didn't have a Lando picture handy, but these guys are pretty damn smooth, too.|
Derek (as George Lucas) and Jake (as Lawrence Kasdan) help out by arguing about whether there should have been more farting animals and racists accents in what is very much the darkest movie of the series.
Return of the Jedi fell to Jake, who compared and contrasted the lightsaber duel in this film to the one in Empire, as well as commentary concerning what it was like trying to catch up after seeing this one at the age of four.
|But not whether it was appropriate? Th' hell?|
Derek is the only one who says he likes the podracing, although he makes up for it by suggesting that the true evil of this franchise is Artoo-Detoo himself, who has killed so many other droids, and always manages to insinuate himself into situations where he can do it again and again...
Larry is blown away by many interesting little tidbits that he did not know about previously. He still doesn't care for Anakin, although he thinks Padme and Leia are, to put it in one word, "yummy". All were in agreement on that point.
Jake throws out the mind-blowing conclusion on The Force Awakens and the others have no way to argue otherwise. He also insists that the Ewoks are murderous little hate bears that want nothing more than to destroy or consume anything upon which they lay their eyes.
|MURDER! MURDER! MURDER!|