This week, the guys sat down to watch what started the resurgence of the superhero film genre, and then, a few films later, almost destroyed it again. And then they talked about all four of the Batman movies that were directed by Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher. What followed was a deep, darkening spiral into a world where comic book canon was ignored with a vigor hitherto unknown to the filmgoing public. Batman was murdering like it was no big deal, Batgirl was Alfred's niece, Arnold Schwarzenegger was encased in plastic, teenager Dick Grayson was a 26-year-old manchild who called the butler "Al", and Tommy Lee Jones turned in a more manic performance than Jim Carrey.
What, it should be asked, the hell?
|These aren't the Batman movies you want; but they are the Batman movies you deserve.|
Hot on the heels of that money-making juggernaut came Danny DeVito stuffing dead fish into his mouth in 1992's Batman Returns.
|What's that now?|
|This, but, like, 130 feet wide. Drink it in.|
1997's Batman and Robin.
Kilmer's out, and George Clooney is in. Chris O'Donnell returns as Dick Grayson/Robin, and Alicia Silverstone' comes in hot as Barbara Pennyworth -- Alfred's niece. Take a moment to let that sink in, because it made the guys really angry. Although not nearly as angry as casting Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze, and Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy. In fact, it's not even the casting, so much as it is the costuming choices made for them, as well as the rest of the actors in the movie.
|Everything wrong with Batman and Robin in one convenient photo.|
Derek absolutely hates whoever it was that designed Poison Ivy's costumes. It's like they never even met Uma Thurman or, you know, looked at her. He also argues in favor of George Clooney returning to play "old guy Batman" in the future, because he's one of the few actors out there who can play Bruce Wayne without any effort at all.
Jake is angry about how the franchise was pretty much destroyed by committee after Tim Burton walked. He also worries about Batman's junk, and what sort of chafing issues might arise from wearing a rubber muscle suit for hours at a time. (Hint: Talcum powder is probably bought in 50-gallon drums.)
Larry is all over the place on this one, but in a good way. He makes some of the funniest jokes he's made in a while, and even jumps in for a bit of improvised executive meetings to discuss casting Batman and Robin.
There's also some stuff in The Lobby, a new Pee-Wee Herman movie Coming Soon, quotes in Larry's List, shameless bragging while Jake-ing Off, and work pranks when the guys go Inside My Head!
So polish up your rubber codpiece, pull on your cowl, and tune in!