January 22, 2015

Critters

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Welp...Jake made it to the recording, and he brought a copy of 1986's Critters, which stars many talented actors who, for reasons that are impossible to determine, aren't acting very well at all; Dee Wallace Stone, Ethan Phillips, M. Emmett Walsh...Billy freakin' Zane! So many well-known actors...and so many poor acting choices.

Even Lin Shaye. Although you may not recognize her in this movie, or her name, maybe this will ring a bell:

That's hot.
And there's also these two douche nuggets:

"We are the NRA."
Who or what all of these people are is irrelevant. Because the main characters of this movie are the critters themselves. They are small, unpleasant, and ugly...just like Mason Reese...

"Have you accepted Gizmo the Mogwai as your own personal savior?"
The critters escape from a Maximum Security Asteroid (that's a thing, right?) and make their way to Earth, landing in Kansas, where they eat people and are generally unfriendly. Only a family of not very bright people and their drunk friends stand between the critters and their domination of the planet.

The guys like those odds.

There are possibly unfinished monsters, recycled shots, enough dry-humping to chafe a bear, and so many references to Spielberg movies that he should have been given an executive producer credit of his own.

Derek is pissed-off about Billy Zane's hand acting. It's...not good. Jake loves the movie, but is unable to sufficiently explain why. Larry paid closer attention than the others, but is still unable to igure out what the entire point of it was.

There's also some awesome The X-Files news, some upcoming movie releases, another edition of The Nicholas Cage-Off, One Thing, and Larry's Top Ten(s). The guys also get their first requested film from a denizen of Twitter!

So get your protective podcast listening jockstrap and fire up this episode!

Oh, yeah...And remember this:

You know you want some of that action!
NEXT WEEK: Galaxy Quest! By Grabthar's Hammer, don't miss it!