Ten Funny Tweets Derek Re-Tweeted Last Week

Hey, gang!

I don't know how many different ways I can say that it was another awesomely funny week on the Twitter machine, but, well...It was another awesomely funny week on the Twitter machine.

Once again, the folks on there have made me laugh and laugh, no matter how horrible the rest of the world has decided to be. Between the murders of cartoonists in France to the bombing of an NAACP building here in the states, I was able to jump on there and get away from that stuff and have a smile or two. And for that, I am incredibly grateful to these guys.

Me, being grateful.

But enough of that smooshy stuff. Let's get on with some damn funny tweets, shall we?

In no particular order...

Dogs are great if you ever wanted something to try and lick the inside of your mouth when you yawn
— Churlish (@Cryptoterra) January 5, 2015

I open the front door for the jehovah's witness. In the background a roomba repeatedly runs into a pile of dildos on the floor.
— kenry (@painted_eel) July 11, 2013

Why don't those badass UFC guys use their fighting skills to defend themselves against terrible tattoo artists?
— Tony (@Tmoney68) January 7, 2015

I was in the park, playing my pan-flute on a horse sculpture & skateboard punk yolo teens stole my grudge journal. I told cops & was tazed.
— Danny Charnley (@DanKCharnley) January 7, 2015

You know it's a good yawn when you sound like Rocky having an orgasm.
— Rock (@TheMichaelRock) January 8, 2015

*Luther Vandross rubs his left nipple and the resulting kinetic energy creates a parallel universe populated by unfeasibly erotic unicorns*
— I\ ’I ‹› I`/I (@joelknightitems) January 9, 2015

Every time I say "That's the stupidest thing I've ever done" My brain says "Ha! Wait...there's more"
— I am CanadianCyn (@CanadianCyn) January 10, 2015

So between Andy Dick, Woody Allen, and Bill Cosby, are women still into men that can make them laugh ?
— Bazz (@CallMeMrBigs) January 7, 2015

I get my sarcasm from my mom and my good looks from angles and lighting.
— Sarcasticsapien (@Sarcasticsapien) January 6, 2015

[Jesus at Last Supper] *breaks bread* This is my body *pours wine* This is my blood *opens jar of mayo* Judas: I'm gonna stop u right there
— huntigula (@huntigula) January 5, 2015

And there you have it!

Here's to what I hope will be a slightly less murdery week. And to hopefully put you potential homicidal maniacs onto a more positive and happy path, here's another exciting 8-Bit Cinema clip! Enjoy!

All the best,
Derek and Bosco