May 25, 2016

Lethal Weapon 2

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Despite Jake's insistence to the contrary, the 80s were a wonderful time to be alive. Cinematically, at least. John Hughes movies were being released roughly every fifteen minutes, Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn had only begun the first phase of the dark magic that allowed them to keep looking youthful well past the point of mere mortals, Kevin Smith and Quentin Tarantino were still working in video stores to gain the knowledge that would allow them to garner small but intensely loyal armies of fans, and George Lucas and Steven Spielberg were at the top of their games.

And the action movie was King.

This week, the guys plunged elbow-deep into the 80s action genre to watch Lethal Weapon 2, starring Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci.

And a cast of fanboys of Mel Gibson's later work...
Gibson and Glover are Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh, two cops who only sorta play by the rules when it's convenient for them. But that's usually okay, because dammit...They're good.

After a run-in with some criminals who are, for some reason, driving around in BMWs with piles of gold krugerrands just rolling around loose in the trunks, Riggs and Murtaugh find themselves on the wrong side of some South African diplomats, led by the guy who wanted to kill Bill and Ted in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey (Joss Ackland as Arjen Rudd). Unfortunately, they can't do anything about it because of a poorly thought out law that protects foreign diplomats...What was that called again?

When a particularly unpleasant experience for Murtaugh involves a bunch of South African guys (led by Derrick O'Connor, a good South African name, as Vorstedt) breaking into his house and tying up him and his wife (Darlene Love as Trish) with duct tape, their captain (Steve Kahan) puts them on a babysitting job to watch a federal witness (Joe Pesci as Leo Getz) that was laundering money for drug dealers, and they completely bone that assignment up, almost getting Leo killed.

These guys are clearly not very good at their job.

And then I shot him for jaywalking!
There is a failed raid on the diplomats' residence, a cool stilt house somewhere in the Hollywood hills, where Riggs takes a shine to the diplomats' secretary/assistant, Rika (Patsy Kensit), and immediately begins stalking her so the movie can get to the mandatory nude scene. (Unlike the previous Lethal Weapon movie, this one was thankfully lacking in the then-standard "unmotivated naked hero ass in the moonlight" shot.)

This is the ass we wanted to see.
Riggs also spends time stalking Arjen at the South African embassy, making sure that they are aware they are being watched by him and his mullet, which is on point in this entry of the series.

Angered and frustrated with the way he and his men are being singled-out by the LAPD simply because they just happen to be dealing drugs, having money laundered, and killing people, Arjen sends Vorstedt and his men on a spree to just straight-up murder the police. All of them. A lot. Suck it, Ice-T.

Keep playing your silly little songs...We got this.
In response to Arjen and Vorstedt's questionable reaction to the police's harrassment, their kidnapping of Leo (guess whose money he was laundering), and also because they killed the first bit of tail Riggs has had since his wife died, Riggs and Murtaugh decide that the best way to reason with the bad guys is to pull the stilt house down the hill and shoot anybody that's left. Pretty subtle, but it


Yeah, it totally does. Mostly. Except for the two main guys, who Riggs and Murtaugh must face on a boat, because why the hell not?

Jake believes that this movie is what every action movie strives to be, and a very small few only manage to come close. He also thinks that Riggs, a confirmed animal lover throughout the rest of the series, is kind of a dick to his dog, Sam, in this one, throwing a boot at him, and then leaving him to be shot by bad guys in a helicopter until Rika makes him stop so Sam can get in the truck with them.

Larry believes that this is one of the finest examples of an action movie. Even more amazing, the other movies in this series are similarly well made, including the interaction between the cast. If he has one complaint, it's Leo. Okay, not so much Leo himself, as much as the way he constantly prefaces everything with, "Okay...okay..." The others disagree, arguing that that's part of Leo's charm.

Derek is willing to fight anyone who does not instantly agree that this is the second-greatest action movie ever. (After Road House, of course.) He worries about Leo, who is not only abused by everybody else in this movie, but seems to not only enjoy it, but actually thrives because of it. That guy has some serious issues that only years of intense psychiatric therapy can even begin to help. He also thinks this movie is really about the destruction of Trish's station wagon.

And maybe Joel Silver's bathroom issues.
There's also a few stories in The Lobby, some awesome new releases Coming Soon, Mel Gibson's "pre-racist lunatic" best in Larry's List, and the fellas share ghost stories while Jake-ing Off, including the story behind this picture:

Booga booga booga!
So fluff your mullet, blow up the toilet, and tune in to this week's episode!