Well! It was a heck of a week last week, wasn't it? Where to start? Maybe I'll just talk about my own week.
My week started cold, like many others' week did. And not only was I unhappy about it, Bosco, who is usually always down for a romp outside when it snows, was also not feeling it, as can be seen below.
Me: "Hey, Bosco! Wanna go outside?"— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) January 9, 2017
Fortunately, it looks like things are starting to turn around in the weather department.
I saw some geese flying north, and you all know what that means: geese are kinda stupid.— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) January 11, 2017
So I have that going for me.
I also spent a good chunk of my week fighting corporate giants and news outlets with hard-hitting questions.
I have yet to receive a response, so I assume they are too intimidated by my straightforward questioning.
|I do pride myself on my transitions...|
Specifically, the claim is that they have video of Angry Orange enjoying a "golden shower" party at a hotel in Moscow. To be even more specific, it appears he paid Russian prostitutes to come to the hotel and pee on the bed, which Angry Orange believed to be the same bed that President Obama and the First Lady slept in when they visited. What a sick fuck.
Naturally, Angry Orange denies it, and nobody believes him.
|That's what he said.|
Wow. This is pretty damning. pic.twitter.com/lckG1l2iFX— perfectly normal (@shanevader) January 11, 2017
Current events. pic.twitter.com/phPcqN6sBZ— Repairmanjake (@Repairmanjake) January 10, 2017
Ironically, #GoldenShower is his designated Secret Service name.— Derek Springer (@TheRealDCF) January 11, 2017
OMG, what if the pee story *isn't* true and we're all defiling the good name of a pussy grabbing neo-Nazi Putin puppet conman!?!— Tina Dupuy (@TinaDupuy) January 11, 2017
Wow, now this old Trump tweet makes a lot more sense: pic.twitter.com/zTMos9dxoa— Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) January 11, 2017
Still, it all seems pretty sinister, and would explain why Angry Orange is so willing to put his faith in Russia than his own country's intelligence community.
|I have nothing to add to this.|
Really, what more do you need to know?
|All right, all right...I'm getting to it.|
In no particular order...
YouTube voice: Hey what's up guys it's Greg and today we're gonna pic.twitter.com/kOEqxdjbo1— ghost mom (@radtoria) January 8, 2017
I will ALWAYS offer you a shoulder to cry on.— Bob Heller (@Bob_Heller) January 9, 2017
It'll be a pork shoulder.
Don't worry. I have a great pork guy. Longtime friend. Great guy.
I hope the next big trend in music is talent— Satan'sSideBitch (@HohmannKathleen) April 21, 2016
If you tase an electrician, he only becomes more powerful.— Steve vs Ninjas (@stevevsninjas) January 5, 2017
It was my turn to have my dad come to my class and talk about his job. Long story short, that's when I found out what a fluffer is.— MyNameIsPappyG (@MyNameIsPappyG) January 11, 2017
if your favorite character from Lord of the Rings isn't Gollum, then you can get the fuck out of my face you piece of shit— POOPSCRUFFIN4U (@POOPSCRUFFIN4U) January 12, 2017
I think Wal-Mart would make a bunch more money if they installed an observation deck.— Lane Helms Deep (@LaneNotLame) January 13, 2017
Things I have heard mentioned thousands of times, but I'm still not entirely sure what they are:— A potato (@ymersvennson) January 10, 2017
- Female orgasms
For $30 Steven Seagal will write you an autograph— Corky Kneivel (@CorkyKneivel) July 25, 2016
For $45 he wlll force a bird to shit you an autograph at gunpoint pic.twitter.com/nv8JcqFtHl
I survey the yard patiently through my scope. The blender whirs loudly beside me, milkshake churning within.— Cyborg H📎 (@CyborgHanky) October 30, 2016
Let the boys come. I'm ready.
And there you have it! Now get out there and have an awesome week, will ya? And to get it moving in the right direction, here's a short film from the guys who did the effects on Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness. It's...different.
And that's about it. You can go home now, Bruce. No need to hang around. We're gonna make a drink and relax.
Via a friend, cocktail suggestion for Jan 20: the “Nyet My President.” White Russian, beneath a thin orange skin and fake gold leaf garnish. pic.twitter.com/TtcDyKaOf5— Michael Sippey (@sippey) January 9, 2017
|Oh, don't be like that.|
Derek and Bosco