I'm not gonna go into all the details about last week. I will mention literally millions of women marching on Saturday, which was pretty bitchen. I'll also mention the trailer for Logan, which was also pretty bitchen. Also, I got a lightsaber. AND THAT'S ALL THAT HAPPENED. PERIOD. (heh-heh...)
But there were also tweets! So I grabbed some to throw at your eyeballs! And part of the reason why I'm not adding GIFs this week is because this list is pretty heavy on pictures in its own right, so I didn't think it was necessary. Now let's get to it, shall we?
In no particular order...
Brooklyn has been gentrified by Ned Flanders pic.twitter.com/ZvOpNXLDS1— Bill Corbett (@BillCorbett) January 15, 2017
Thug: *shows tattoos of tear drops* So I remember each person I've killed.— Kadyn the Wingman (@kadyngriffiths) March 26, 2016
Me:*shows tattoo of an oven* So I remember to turn off the oven.
My son is talking to an Army recruiter. Let's listen in as he asks the man about maid service, good food on demand, and sleeping till noon.— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) January 5, 2017
Impress fellow commuters by striking out passages of A Brief History of Time with a red pen, shaking your head, muttering "Stephen, Stephen"— Frank Whitehouse (@WheelTod) July 14, 2014
The tree hadn't done anything to deserve being lit on fire, but Timmy was a petty robot. The tree held a quiet beauty, and he was jealous. pic.twitter.com/71vHi1BAYD— Wylde de Beest (@flashember) December 22, 2016
SPOILER ALERT: Debbie doesn't actually do all of Dallas...just like 2 guys in Dallas. I'm not really even sure if they were FROM Dallas.— Bearded J's Beard (@Thatguy5487) December 28, 2016
If Trump becomes president he's going to try to make abortion illegal so I'm stocking up on abortions now just in case.— Jessie (@NicCageMatch) April 28, 2016
And if you live a beautiful life, upon your deathbed you shall hear Werner Herzog speak the words “auspicious souvenir.”— Lemming Däd (@LemmingDad) December 17, 2016
James, buddy......this is a Reuben pic.twitter.com/lPJwiC2A3R— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) January 19, 2017
And there you have it! Now go out there and have an awesome week. To that end, here's a voicemail message that Larry's girlfriend Jenny found on YouTube from a guy who witnessed a car accident involving some elderly women in Texas. (I know that sounds horrible, but trust me when I tell you that you will not regret listening.)
All the best,
Derek and Bosco